


El Clásico Group Chat.

by Messi10_Neymar11



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Angst and Humor, Barça and Madrid nazis back away, Fluff and Humor, Força Barça, Germany fuck off for being so good, Hala Madrid, Humor, I only came for the lolz, Light Angst, M/M, Texting, all jokes, don't get triggered
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2018-11-09 16:25:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 19,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11108364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Messi10_Neymar11/pseuds/Messi10_Neymar11
Summary: Gerard starts a group chat with players from Barcelona and Real Madrid.It causes some problems.





	1. Chapter 1

_**Gerard Piqué** has added **Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo, Neymar Jr, Marcelo, Marc Bartra, James Rodriguez, Marc-André, Gareth Bale, Rafinha, Toni Kroos, Sergi Roberto, Isco, Dani Alves, Iker Casillas** to **El Clásico.**_  
   
**Marc Bartra** : What the hell is this Geri?  
   
**James** : Hello!  
   
**Rafa** : Okay, this isn't going to work like this. Marc Bartra is Marc.  
   
**Marc-André** : Who am I?  
   
**Toni Kroos** : We'll just call you Ter.  
   
**Marc Bartra** : You can have Marc if you want Marc.  
   
**Ter** : Nah. You can have Marc.  
   
**Rafa** : I'm still calling you Marquinhos.  
   
**Ter** : Do as you please, Rafa.  
   
**Iker** : Alright, now that that's settled- Geri explain.  
   
**Geri** : I created a group chat with us! I thought it would be fun!  
   
**Ney** : You stupid boi.  
   
**Marcelo** : That's all fine and dandy, but why isn't Sergio here?  
   
**Geri** : Simple- I don't like Ramos.  
   
**Toni** : I don't like you either you fucking puto.  
   
**Iker** : Toni!  
   
_**Toni Kroos** added **Sergio Ramos** to **El Clásico**_.  
   
**Toni** : Omg, that was not me.  
   
**Toni** : That was Sergio I swear. He took my phone.  
   
**Sergio** : Alright you little bitch. Talk shit now.  
   
**Geri** : You're a dick.  
   
**Leo** : Geri aren't you suppose to be at practice?  
   
**Leo** : Ney!   
   
**Ney** : What?  
   
**Rafa** : We're hiding in the locker room.  
   
**Ter** : I didn't want to but Rafa dragged me in.   
   
**Dani** : Why the fuck are you guys texting each other when your right next to each other?  
   
**Geri** : Beacuse we're not the only one's in the chat, duh.  
   
**Leo** : Get on the field. Lucho's getting mad.  
   
**Geri** : Which is why we're over here.  
   
**Leo** : He just yelled at me for being on the phone!  
   
**Geri** : Deaaddd xD  
   
**Iker** : Go to practice Geri.  
   
**Geri** : Ugh fine "San" Iker.  
   
**James** : Hi!  
   
**Marcelo** : Yes, hello James.  
   
**James** : I'm waiting for you guys to finish getting dressed.  
   
**Cris** : I know. I can see you grinning at your phone like a puppy.  
   
**Leo** : Ronaldo.  
   
**Cris** : Messi.  
   
**Gareth** : ?  
   
**Isco** : Idk.  
   
**Marcelo** : What was that?  
   
**Cris** : Acknowledge thy enemy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omgggg a lot of stuff has gone down! Leo finally got married! Antonella and him are absolutely the most adorable football couple out there (Although Cressi first always).
> 
> Cristiano had twins! What!? They're adorable! And I seriously need to know if he really named one of them Mateo because um- Mateo Messi? Hello!?
> 
> Yeah, it was from surrogate. I don't really care about that- his life. He lives it the way he wants. 
> 
> The season is so close yet so far... 
> 
> #HalaMadrid! Hopefully we'll have another astonishing season! ;)
> 
> JAMES RODRIGUEZ YOU STAY PUT IN YOUR WHITE LIKE YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO!


	2. Chapter 2

**Leo:** Sometimes, I genuinely question why I even bother.

 

 **Geri:** Honestly, idek why you do either.

 

 **Marcelo:** The hell are you two talking about?

 

 **Ney:** Leo's leaving Barça.

 

 **Cris:** What!?

 

 **Cris:** Where?

 

 **Rafa:** Idk. He was mumbling something about Chelsea. 

 

 **Cris:** What the fuck? You're going to the Premier League!? You can't fucking leave Spain!

 

 **Cris:** You start losing for once in your life and you run away like a little bitch.

 

 **Leo:** Screw you Cristiano. I'm not going to the fucking Premier League. And it's not my first time fucking losing you dick.

 

 **Leo:** Besides, it's your dumb fan boys that are always complaining about how I can only play with Barça anyway. 

 

 **Geri:** Yeah that's fucking stupid. How does making it to a World Cup final and two Copa America finals make you a bad player with Argentina? It's better than what some of their great stars have done with their countries.

 

 **Leo:** Can we not mention the World Cup please?

 

 **Rafa:** I second that.

 

 **Cris:** I third that.

 

 **Toni:** I feel awkwardly out of place.

 

 **Sergio:** Because you're dumbass won it.

 

 **Marc:** While we're on the topic of the Copa America, I've been meaning to ask. What the hell happened with that Uruguayan player, Leo?

 

 **Sergio:** Yeah, what the fuck. Since when do you get mad?

 

 **Leo:** Ugh. I don't even know. I don't usually get like that.

 

 **Ney:** Well, it was pretty hot to watch.

 

 **James:** Um. Is this a thing?

 

 **Leo:** Oh god no. Neymar just likes to tease me about dumb stuff.

 

 **Ney:** And it works every time. Like right now, he's blushing.

 

 **Rafa:** Aw! You look so cute Leo! 

 

 **Leo:** Shut up!

 

 **Dani:** He just got even redder omg.

 

 **Toni:** Wait what are you talking about?

 

 **Ney:** Oh. The fight. The guy was kinda shoving up against him and Leo got all up in his face and said something in his ear.

 

 **Rafa:** What'd you say?

 

 **Cris:** He said "Fuck off" before they pulled him away.

 

 **Leo:** How do you know that?

 

 **Cris:** Not important.

 

 **Ney:** Aw, Ronaldo watches your matches, Leo!

 

 **Rafa:** And apparently he pays _very_ close attention, huh?

 

 **Geri:** I am, disgusted.

 

 **Dani:** He's so flushed it's all the way to his chest and ears!

 

 **Leo:** Fuck you guys!

 

 **Ney:**  

**Iker:** Leo looks like he wants to murder you Neymar.

 

 **Leo:** That's because I do.

 

 **Gareth:** But you're smiling.

 

 **Iker:** It's all in the eyes.

 

 **Cris:**  Anyways, you're not leaving Barcelona though, right?

 

 **Leo:** It was just a joke. You don't have to worry about me leaving Spain anytime soon.

**Cris:** I wasn't worrying. I could care less.

 

 **Ney:** "You can't fucking leave Spain!"

 

 **Rafa:** "I could care less."

 

 **Marcelo:** *Translating Ronaldo Language*

 

 **Ney:** "You can't leave me!"

 

 **Rafa:** "What am I going to do without you?"

 

 **Cris:** You fucking Brazilians.

 

 **Dani:** I take no part in this.

 

 **Ney:** Dani, you're the one that told me to type that.

 

 **Dani:** Shhh.


	3. Chapter 3

**James:** Neymar.

 

 **Ney:** Yes?

 

 **James:** Hi.

 

 **Ney:** Hello!

 

 **James:** How are you?

 

 **Ney:** Good. What about you?

 

 **James:** Great, thanks!

 

 **Rafa:** Fucking weirdos.

 

 **Ney:** This is why people like Thiago more than you, Rafa.

 

 **Ter:** I like you Rafa.

 

 **Rafa:** Aw, Marquinhos.

 

 **Rafa:** You beautiful German creature.

 

 **Rafa:** Oh yeah, and fuck you Ney.

 

 **Dani:** Did you know everyone has ship names!?

 

 **Rafa:** What?

 

 **Dani:** Like, Leo and Ronaldo are Cressi.

 

 **Cris:** Gross.

 

 **Leo:** Disgusting.

 

 **Marcelo:** *Translating Cris and Leo language*

 

 **Ney:** Adorable.

 

 **Rafa:** Cute!

 

 **Cris:** Fucking Brazilians.

 

 **Leo:** Fucking Brazilians.

 

 **Isco:** Didn't deny it tho.

 

 **Dani:** There's one for Leo and Ney too. Neymessi. Who would've thought!

 

 **James:** That one's stupid.

 

 **Cris:** Fuck that ship.

 

 **Marcelo:** I smell jealously!

 

 **Toni:** Smell it? I see it! Cris your face is so red and James your scowling.

 

 **Ney:** Why'd they make one with us?

 

 **Cris:** Idk maybe because your little Argentine is jumping on your stupid Brazilian self 24/7. I wouldn't be surprised that they did.

 

 **Sergio:** Hahahahaha.

 

 **Dani:** I wouldn't laugh so quickly Ramos.

 

 **Sergio:** What'd you mean?

 

 **Dani:** Sergio and Geri! Gerio! XD

 

 **Leo:** Ship it!

 

 **Cris:** Me too!

 

 **Isco:** Oddly enough, I don't mind that.

 

 **Iker:** Blessed lord, a match made in hell. They're perfect for each other.

 

 **Geri:** Oh god.

 

 **Sergio:** I'm about to throw up.

 

 **Geri:** I already am.

 

 **Marcelo:** Anyone with me? (:

 

 **Dani:** Nah. We're not famous or pretty enough apparently.

 

 **Marcelo:** Well damn.

 

 **Isco:** I am offended.

 

 **Toni:** I ship Cressi more than Neymessi.

 

 **Cris:** Why.

 

 **Toni:** I can see your pleased expression after you read that- don't play dumb with me.

 

 **Dani:** Well, I ship Neymessi more.

 

 **Cris:** I knew I didn't like you.

 

 **James:** I ship Neymes!

 

 **Ney:** What's that?

 

 **Rafa:** James and Neymar.

 

 **Ney:** I totally forgot what you look like dude. I haven't seen you in forever.

 

 **Leo:** This dumbass is searching up pics of James, lmao.

 

 **Ney:** Well fuck, I ship Neymes too.

 

 **James:** );

 

 **Geri:** Cressi and Neymes- yes. Gerio- nope.

 

 **Sergio:** What's so bad about Gerio?

 

 **Geri:** You like it?

 

 **Sergio:** I don't mind it.

 

 **Geri:** Is this the same Sergio we're talking to? 

 

 **Sergio:** Dick.

 

 **Geri:** Dude, you're the one that didn't wake me up for practice when we had that match against Italy.

 

 **Sergio:** It ain't my job to wake you up.

 

 **Geri:** Maybe not! But when we eneed up being roomed together, you told me specifically that you'd wake me up! And then you didn't and I had to run extra laps!

 

 **Toni:** I love Gerio.

 

 **Leo:** Best couple pairing ever.


	4. Chapter 4

**Dani:** Neymessi

 

 **Toni:** Cressi

 

 **Dani:** Neymessi

 

 **Toni:** Cressi

 

 **Dani:** Neymessi!

 

 **Toni:** Cressi!!

 

 **Dani:** Neymessi!!!

 

 **Toni:** Alright Dani. We're settling this right now.

 

 **Gareth:**  Cressi vs Neymessi

 

 **Isco:**  FIGHT!

 

**Toni:**

 

**Dani:**

 

**Toni:**

 

**Dani:**

 

**Toni:**

 

**Dani:**

 

**Toni:**

 

**Dani:**

 

 **Toni:** Alright Dani. It's been a good fight.

 

 **Dani:** What do you mean?

 

 **Toni:** I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.

 

 **Dani:** Toni! What're you doing!?

 

 **Toni:** THIS ENDS HERE!

 

**Toni:**

 

 **Dani:** No! Not the fanart!

 

**Dani:**

 

 **Gareth:** FINISH HIM!

 

**Toni:**

  
  


 

 

 **Dani:** Enough! I accept defeat you evil German monster!

 

 **Toni:** Victorious!

 

 **Cris:** WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO!

 

 **Cris:** DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FUCKING WEIRD IT IS TO SEE THOSE PICTURES! Leo! Why aren't you saying anything!?

 

_**Leo Messi** wants to group video call. **Accept** or **Decline**?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> detodores and their drawings- I just... lost for words at how good they are.


	5. Chapter 5

"I thought we had a silent agreement of not calling- WHAT THE FUCK!?" Isco shouts when he sees Leo.

 

"Oh my god, one of you come help me." Leo pleads, his face turning pink from the blood rushing down to it.

 

"Why are you hanging upside down from a tree?" Sergio is dying of laughter behind his computer.

 

"Bear trap- I was jogging.." He reaches up to grab at the strap, put his fingers slip and he falls back with a swing. "And it pulled me up."

 

"Listen one of you have to come get me." Leo pleads, looking around. "If someone sees me, I'm going to become a fudging human piñata." 

 

"How the hell do you expect us to find you?" Neymar laughs, a surprised Rafa next to him.

 

"Screw you!" Leo then snaps, eyes narrowing at the camera in a way that made Cris flush.

 

"Hey James!" Neymar waved excitedly.

 

"Hi Ney!" James smiles back kindly.

 

"Geri?" Leo looks hopeful. 

 

"Sorry. I have no idea where the hell you are. And knowing you, you probably have no idea either." Gerard shrugs, munching on chips.

 

"Is that part of your diet plan?" Sergio retorts at Geri who made a face at the other defender. "Is that chocolate bar you're hiding behind your back on the counter?" He shot back.

 

Sergio gave him the finger.

 

"I am losing circulation assholes!" Leo cries out, tugging at the rope.

 

"Geri go get him!" Cris snaps.

 

"A little defensive there, huh Cris?" Toni smirks.

 

"Shut the hell up Toni." Cris flushed red with embarrassment. 

 

"Neymessi." Dani whispers to himself and Cris grits his teeth together.

 

"Oh my god those pictures were hilarious." Neymar laughed, petting his dog. Leo ignores them, continuing to tug at the rope angrily.

 

"How does it not bother you?" Cris demanded from the Brazilian who stared at the camera thoughtfully.

 

"Well, I know I don't like Leo like that and Leo doesn't like me like that. So it doesn't phase me. But you.. you seem to care about it a lot." Neymar raises a curious eyebrow. "Wanna tell us something?" 

 

Cris was about to answer, but just then, Leo pulled a violent tug and the rope came undone.

 

He wasn't expecting it, a scream escaping his lips as he fell, the camera showing swirls of the sun and trees before darkness.

 

"Leo!?" Cris panics, waiting to hear a groan.

 

Nothing.

 

"Leo!?!? Leo!" He hyperventilated. "Leo!"

 

"I-I'm fine!" The phone is picked up and dusted off. "Your cheek!" Cris snaps at him. "It's red." Leo rubbed it with a frown.

 

"It's nothing-" Cris cuts him off. "It's not nothing! God, why don't you pay attention to your surroundings!? Are you okay?"

 

"I'm fine." Leo's voice is small and he offers Cris a cute smile, his dimples popping out.

 

"Okay I'm switching to the Cressi ship." Dani's voice interrupts them. Leo seems surprised the others were there.

 

"Hell yeah you are." Toni says smugly. 

 

"I'm going home." Leo grumbles. "Bye."

 

"See ya at practice tomorrow, Leo!" Ney waves. "Oh- and you might wanna check your text messages!" He laughs loudly and Leo looks confused.

 

"Wha-" the call ends.

 

Cris can still feel his heart beating wildly as he stares at his reflection on the black screen.


	6. Chapter 6

**Ney:** Okay, this is starting to get weird you guys.

 

 **Isco:**  What do you mean?

 

 **Ney:** I'm talking about Rafa and Ter.

 

 **Ter:** Yes? Have I done something?

 

 **Ney:** Not you specifically. You and Rafa together is starting to get weird.

 

 **Ter:** How so?

 

 **Ney:** He keeps touching you and staring and shit.

 

 **Ter:** He does that with everybody?

 

 **Ney:** Not the same way with you.

 

 **Rafa:** Shut the fuck up Ney.

 

 **Ney:** We're having an intervention here, Rafa! Explain yourself.

 

 **Rafa:** There's nothing to explain.

 

 **Ter:** Is something wrong?

 

 **Rafa:** No. 

 

 **Ter:** Rafinha.

 

 **Rafa:** If I said no, then nothing's wrong!

 

 **Marcelo:** Neymar what have you done?

 

 **Ney:** Didn't think it'd get out of control.

 

 **Ter:** We just wanna help you! You've started avoiding me lately- I can tell!

 

 **Rafa:** Fuck you Marc.

 

_**Rafinha** has left **El Clasico**._

 

 **Ney:** Woah. That's not good.

 

 **Ter:** I'm going over to his house. This is starting to piss me off.

 

 **Ney:** I don't think that's a good idea. He probably won't open the door for you.

 

 **Ter:** I have keys. 

 

_**Rafinha** has joined **El Clasico**._

 

 **Rafa:** Actually, fuck you all.

 

 **Ney:** You seriously came back to say that?

 

_**Rafinha** has added **Manuel Neuer** to **El Clasico.**_

 

 **Ney:** What the hell are you doing!

 

 **Rafa:** Proving a point!

 

 **Ter:** ?

 

 **Manuel:** How did you get my number?

 

 **Rafa:** That's not important.

 

 **Manuel:** Why am I here?

 

 **Ney:** I thought goalies were suppose to be patient.

 

 **Manuel:** Patient enough for a World Cup semi final.

 

 **Ney:** But apparently not patient enough for a champions league semi final, right?

 

 **Manuel:** Fair play, fair play. 

 

 **Ney:** I try my best.

 

 **Rafa:** Shut up for a second, Ney.

 

 **Ney:** *sigh*

 

 **Rafa:** Okay- Neuer. Tell me the truth. Is Marc-Andre always super clueless?

 

 **Manuel:** Hell yeah.

 

 **Ter:** Am not!

 

 **Manuel:** Well it took you forever to realize that Marco and Mario were dating.

 

 **Ter:** WHAT!?

 

 **Ter:** Marco and Mario!?!? Since when!?

 

 **Manuel:** Omg, are you serious Marc?

 

 **Ter:** I didn't know that!

 

 **Manuel:** Fucking hell, man! Did you just completely forget that time we walked in on them making out in the locker room!? Mario was sitting on his lap! 

 

 **Ter:** I thought they were hugging!

 

 **Manuel:** Prime example of your cluelessness. 

 

 **Ney:** Even I know those two are too close to be friends Ter.

 

 **Ter:** I am shocked to the bone.

 

 **Rafa:** My god.

 

 **Ter:** So you've proven I'm clueless. Congrats Rafa. Now what?

 

 **Rafa:** Know I wait patiently for you to realize.

 

 **Ter:** Realize what?

 

 **Rafa:** I don't know. You tell me?

 

 **Ter:** You're so confusing, man.

 

 **Manuel:** So this is like a group chat? And it's entitled El Clasico? Are there Real Madrid players on here?

 

 **Toni:** Hey!

 

 **Manuel:** Toniiii

 

 **Manuel:** Come back to Bayern. We're better.

 

 **Cris:** You thought German.

 

 **Geri:** Both of you thought. Visca Barça!

 

 **Sergio:** Hala Madrid bitches!

 

 **Manuel:** But who won the World Cup? 

 

 **Toni:** •_•

 

 **Ter:** ^_^

 

 **Leo:** ...

 

 **Cris:** ...

 

 **James:**...

 

 **Ney:** ...

 

 **Iker:** ...

 

 **Marcelo:** ...

 

 **Dani:** ...

 

 **Sergio:** ...

 

 **Marc:** ...

 

 **Sergi:** ...

 

 **Gareth:** ...

 

 **Isco:** ...

 

_**Manuel Neuer** has been kicked out of **El Clasico** by the host, **Gerard Pique**._

 

 **Toni:** That wasn't necessary.

 

 **Geri:** I never liked him anyway.


	7. Chapter 7

**Leo:** FUCKING HELP

 

 **Gareth:**  Dude why are you always in trouble!

 

 **Leo:** THEY'RE THROWING PENS AT ME!

 

 **James:** Who?

 

 **Leo:** Geri and Ney!

 

 **Isco:** Did you do something?

 

 **Leo:** No! Well I don't think I did! They just barged into the managing office in the training ground and screamed that they were taking over. They had a stack of boxes filled with pens and then they just started fucking throwing them.

 

 **Leo:** I am currently hiding behind the couch scared for my life! Someone come help me!!

 

 **Sergio:**  Um, I'm currently in a different city miles away, so..

 

 **Ter:** Why do Gerard and Neymar have traditional Native American face paint and headdresses on? 

 

 **Ter:** Why are they throwing pens?

 

 **Leo:** Marc! Bless the lord, Marc! Help me!

 

 **Ter:** Is that you behind Lucho's couch, Leo?

 

 **Leo:** Yes! Now listen- you tackle Gerard, and I'll tackle that Brazilian asshole.

 

 **Ter:** When I came to play football, I had no idea that it would be American! :)

 

 **Cris:** That was such a bad joke, lmao.

 

 **Rafa:** That was pretty bad.

 

 **Ter:** );

 

 **Rafa:** I like you and your bad jokes, Marquinhos.

 

 **Ter:** Aw, thanks friend! :D

 

 **Rafa:** -_- Are you kidding me.

 

 **Cris:** God damn, he's even more clueless than I thought.

 

 **Rafa:** Told you.

 

 **Ter:** I tackled Geri and he's complaining about his hip now.

 

 **Leo:** Who cares as long as I wasn't impaled by a ink stick.

 

 **Cris:**  Can't have that happening now, can we? Oh no, no, no.. what would Barcelona do without their little god?

 

 **Ney:** Why are you always such an ass to Leo in these chats, man?

 

 **Cris:** Why do you care so much?

 

 **Sergio:** Cris stop.

 

 **Ney:** Because he's my friend.

 

 **Cris:**  Friends? More like friends with benefits. You two don't even bother hiding it when you get on the pitch. Could it be more obvious?

 

 **James:** Cristiano, please stop.

 

 **Cris:** Why? Are you seriously going to let some stupid crush blind you from reality, James? Wake up. 

 

_**James Rodriguez** has left **El Clasico**._

 

 **Ney:** James!

 

 **Toni:** What the hell, Cris.

 

 **Ney:** What's wrong with you! 

 

 **Cris:** He needs to open his eyes and stop daydreaming.

 

 **Ney:** What did you even say to him that made him so upset!?

 

 **Cris:** The fact that you don't even know is pathetic.

 

 **Ney:** Fucking hell, man!

 

 **Leo:** Ney! Don't bother. He isn't worth the effort.

 

_**Cristiano Ronaldo** has left **El Clasico.**_

 

 **Ney:** What a dick. I'll check on James.

 

_**Neymar Jr and Lionel Messi** has left  **El Clasico.**_

 

 **Sergio:** I'lltry to talk some sense into him.

 

_**Sergio Ramos** has left **El Clasico**._

 

 **Isco:** Gosh, I don't know what happened to him all of a sudden.

 

 **Toni:** He seemed jealous to me. 

 

 **Dani:**  Not this again, Toni.

 

 **Toni:** No, I'm serious. I think he felt jealous and said some things. I don't think he thought that it would sound as bad as it did. Cris usually does stuff like that. Good intentions, bad executions.

 

 **Geri:** Um...

 

 **Geri:** Did I miss something?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I don't even know what the hell I ended up doing to this chapter. It started off cute and funny, and then it turned a 360° on me. Oh well!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversation between Neymar and James.

**Ney:** James?

 

 **James:** Oh, hey.

 

 **Ney:** Are you okay?

 

 **James:** Yeah, I'm fine. 

 

 **Ney:** I don't think you are. What did he say that got to you?

 

 **James:** Nothing. I promise.

 

 **Ney:** I'm not an idiot. Well, sometimes.

 

 **Ney:** Actually most times- but that's not important.

 

 **James:** You always find a way to bring a smile on my face! :)

 

 **Ney:** I'm glad to hear that. Talk to me? Please? You don't have to tell me exactly, but I can give you advice if you'd like?

 

 **James:** It's just

 

 **James:** I'm always so scared to take the things that I want. I always think that I just can't get them. Cris just made me think about it a bit more. Does that make me selfish? For wanting something I can't have?

 

 **Ney:** Of course not!

 

 **Ney:** Let me tell you something James. If you want something, that you reach out and grab it. You hold onto it so tightly and don't let go. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise- even those closest to you. Even yourself.

 

 **James:** What if I'm too scared to take it? Too scared that it won't want me back?

 

 **Ney:** Would you rather live the rest of your life wondering what could've been? There's going to be fear James. But you never really know until you at least try, right?

 

 **James:** You're right.

 

 **Ney:** Of course I am. (;

 

 **James:** Thank you. I feel much better.

 

 **Ney:** I'm here for you whenever you need me.

 

 **James:** Whenever?

 

 **Ney:** Whenever.

 

 **James:** Then.. When you come to Madrid for the Clasico, I want to see you. After the match. Will you?

 

 **Ney:** Sure James. Now let's go tell the others that you're stronger than some petty words. They were worried about you.

 

 **James:** Okay. (:


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversation between Sergio and Cristiano.

**Sergio:** You were wrong.

 

 **Cris:** I know, okay! 

 

 **Sergio:**  Do you honestly think I don't know what's going on with you or why you said all of that?

 

 **Cris:** Of course you know. I never underestimate you.

 

 **Sergio:** I know. If you did, you wouldn't have texted me back.

 

 **Cris:** Iker would've tried coming to my house.

 

 **Sergio:** Yeah, well I'm not Iker.

 

 **Cris:** I know.

 

 **Sergio:** I know why you told him all of that.

 

 **Cris:** What do you mean?

 

 **Sergio:** I get that you see yourself in James, Cristiano. That somehow this is your way of protecting him, but you can't stop someone from what they want.

 

 **Cris:** Please don't say it.

 

 **Sergio:** Neymar isn't Leo, Cris. And James isn't you. 

 

 **Cris:** When I see the way James looks and acts about Neymar, all I can think about is how a couple years ago, that was me. 

 

 **Sergio:** Do you want me to be brutally honest?

 

 **Cris:** When aren't you brutally honest?

 

 **Sergio:** True. Anyways, listen. James isn't like you. He's afraid, but he's not denying it and pushing it away like you are. 

 

 **Cris:** I'm a coward.

 

 **Sergio:** That's not what I meant.

 

 **Cris:** Maybe not, but it's what I meant.

 

 **Sergio:** I'm not gonna change your mind about Leo, am I?

 

 **Cris:** Who's Leo?

 

 **Sergio:** You are the most stubborn man I've ever met.

 

 **Cris:** I won't say anything about Neymar and James anymore, if that's what you're asking.

 

 **Sergio:** Good. Oh and Cris?

 

 **Cris:** Yes?

 

 **Sergio:** You still do like him.

 

 **Cris:** I know.

 

~ ***** ~

 

 **Leo:** You're a jerk.

 

 **Cris:** I know.

 

 **Leo:** Come back please.

 

 **Cris:** Okay.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Sergio:**  Do you guys like our new kits?

 

 **Ney:** What do they look like?

 

**Isco:**

  
  


 

 **Cris:** I like the blue one the most.

 

 **James:** Yeah those are nice.

 

 **Gareth:** I like the grey one more.

 

 **Isco:** Grey one is my fav too. I like the lime green.

 

 **Sergio:** I like the white. #HalaMadrid

 

 **Marcelo:** The white one looks exactly the same as the past ten years. 

 

 **Iker:** Eh. There isn't much you can do with white and black anyway.

 

 **Rafa:**  Our new away kit is hideous.

 

 **Ney:** What!? They're amazing you loser!

 

 **Rafa:** THEY DON'T WORK WITH MY SKIN COMPLEXION! 

 

 **Ney:** Bitch I'm Brazilian too and they look fabulous on me.

 

 **Gareth:** What does it look like?

 

**Marc:**

  
  


 

 **Ney:** Beautiful! 

 

 **Rafa:** Are you fucking serious!? IT'S MUSTARD YELLOW! That's fucking ugly as shit! It's- it's fugly!

 

 **Ter:** But you looked so good in it!

 

 **Rafa:** Oh don't you start.

 

 **Ter:** What?

 

 **Rafa:** You're such a goodie goodie nice person.

 

 **Ter:** No I'm not!

 

 **Rafa:** Marquinho you never say no to anyone and you're always super nice.

 

 **Ter:** That's not true.

 

 **Rafa:** Yes it is.

 

 **Ter:** No it isn't.

 

 **Rafa:** Yes

 

 **Ter:** No

 

 **Rafa:** Yes

 

 **Ter:** No

 

 **Rafa:** Yes

 

 **Ter:** No

 

 **Rafa:** Yes

 

 **Ter:** No

 

 **Rafa:** Yes!

 

 **Ter:** No Rafa.

 

 **Rafa:** Yes!!!

 

 **Ter:** No!!!!!

 

 **Rafa:** That's it.

 

 **Ney:** Oh my god what are you doing now?

 

_**Rafinha** has added **Thomas Müller** to **El Clasico**._

 

 **Ney:** Again Rafa- what are you doing!?

 

 **Rafa:** PROVING. A. POINT.

 

 **Thomas:** Wtf.

 

 **Thomas:** How'd you get my number? Wat.

 

 **Rafa:** That's not important.

 

 **Thomas:** Lol, what's up bitchesss.

 

 **Rafa:** Shut up and answer my question.

 

 **Thomas:** How do I shut up and answer your question at the same time?

 

 **Isco:** Smartass.

 

 **Thomas:** In truth I'm not saying anything at all. My mouth is shut. How do I shut my fingers up? They don't have a mouth. Would that mean they're already shut? Or not at all? Would typing be considered shutting up yet still talking at the same time? But fingers don't talk? And text don't either. Would that mean I have shut up? Or am I still talking?

 

 **Ney:** Omg, you're such a troll man.

 

 **Rafa:** Wtf

 

 **Rafa:**  Stop you weirdo.

 

 **Rafa:** I have a question for you.

 

 **Thomas:** Question? A question? What is a question? I have a selective amount of answers to offer for certain questions. So it must depend on what the question is. And then I'll give you an answer. Yet is it an answer you'll like? We shall find out soon enough. A selective question only receives a selective answer where both are limited to a single thought or belief.

 

 **Rafa:** DUDE JUST STAHP! WHY!

 

 **Ney:** STOP IT MÜLLER!

 

 **Thomas:** Lmao, ok I'm done.

 

 **Ney:** Thank god.

 

 **Thomas:** Or am I?

 

 **Rafa:** STOP! Okay, is Marc-Andre super nice and never says no? 

 

 **Thomas:** Marc Marc the Blarc? Oh yeah! Definitely!

 

 **Sergio:** "Marc Marc the Blarc."

 

 **Sergio:** What are you?

 

 **Thomas:** Sergio Ramos? Ohhh is this a rival chat? Pique probably made it, didn't he.

 

 **Geri:** Yup.

 

 **Thomas:** I should try to make one with Dortmund.

 

 **Toni:** I'd like to see how that goes. Marco would really appreciate that, huh?

 

 **Thomas:** TONI!!!! <3 <3 

 

 **Thomas:** WE MISS U

 

 **Toni:** Miss u too T_T

 

 **Rafa:** It's nice for you to have your reunion Toni, but back to Marc.

 

 **Ter:** I don't always say yes to every thing, Mulli!

 

 **Thomas:** Marc, yes you do. 

 

 **Ter:** No I don't!

 

 **Thomas:** Remeber that time Erik asked you if you would sneak into the kitchen of the hotel we were in to grab ice cream sandwiches and you said yes? And then you got caught by coach and scolded by the health nurses?

 

 **Ter:** I didn't even eat them. ):

 

 **Thomas:** There you go. You just can't say no because you're too nice.

 

 **Rafa:** Exactly.

 

 **Ter:** Okay. So maybe you're right- but I wasn't lying when I said you looked good in the away kits Rafa!

 

 **Thomas:** We're showing kits!? LOOK AT OURS!!

  
  
  
  


 

 **Isco:** Xabi );

 

 **Cris:** Xabi. D;

 

 **Thomas:** You took Toni, we took Xabi. :/

 

 **James:** I like the black and red one!

 

 **Thomas:** Personally I like the white one, but the black ones aren't bad either.

 

 **James:** What time is it in Munich, anyway?

 

 **Thomas:** Oh you wanna know what time it is in Germany?

 

 **Toni:** OMFG THOMAS DON'T YOU DARE!!

 

 **Thomas:** 7:01

 

 **Ter:** 0.0

 

 **Toni:** *_*

 

 **Marcelo:** No

 

 **Ney:** He

 

 **Rafa:** Fucking

 

 **Dani:** Didn't

 

 **Leo:** ...

 

 **Cris:** ...

 

 **James:**...

 

 **Iker:** ...

 

 **Sergio:** ...

 

 **Marc:** ...

 

 **Sergi:** ...

 

 **Gareth:**...

 

 **Isco:**...

 

**Thomas:**

 

_**Thomas Müller** was kicked out of **El Clasico** by the host, **Gerard Pique.**_

 

 **Geri:** RAFINHA STOP ADDING THESE GERMAN ASSHOLES!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, my own writing is making me die of laughter.
> 
> Happy World Cup Semi Final 7:1 Day? 
> 
> I was actually rooting for Brazil after my favourite teams (Colombia and Spain) got knocked out.


	11. Chapter 11

**Ney:** GIVE ME THE FOOD I SAID GIVE ME THE FOOD

 

 **Gareth:** GIVE ME NO FRUIT IF YOU LOVE ME

 

 **Ney:** GIVE ME THE FOOD I SAID GIVE ME THE FOOD

 

 **Gareth:** GIVE ME NO FRUIT IF YOU LOVE ME

 

 **Cris:** Shut the fuck up

 

 **Dani:** So Gandhi basically went "Britain get the hell out of India or I'm going to starve myself." And it worked.

 

 **Sergio:** Why and what the fuck?

 

 **Dani:** I hereby am starting a Gandhi protest.

 

 **Isco:** A protest against Gandhi!?!?

 

 **Dani:** No dumbass. A protest against Neymar that is similar to Gandhi's method. But I'm throwing a little 21st century spice into it.

 

 **Toni:** Explain?

 

 **Dani:** Instead of starving myself, we beat him in the head with a wooden stick.

 

 **Cris:** How is that anything like what Gandhi did!?

 

 **Dani:** We get an Indian man to do it. ;3

 

 **Ney:** I feel attacked.

 

 **Dani:** Oh not yet, but soon.  >:D

 

 **Ney:** I'M MOVING TO CHELSEA!

 

 **Cris:** What is with you guys and transfer to Chelsea rumors?

 

 **Ney:** Idk it's fun

 

 **Geri:** So Leo's in the hospital.

 

 **Cris:** WHAT!?

 

 **Geri:** Yeah. 

 

 **Sergio:** Geri why the fuck did you just say that so calmly and casually like we're at breakfast with tiffanys discussing what types of napkins we use for each meal?

 

 **Cris:** What happened!?

 

 **Cris:** Is he okay?

 

 **Cris:** Oh my god

 

 **Cris:** GERARD

 

 **Geri:** Fucking hell. Calm down dude. He's fine now

 

 **Marcelo:** What happened?

 

 **Ney:** Oh we already knew about this.

 

 **Geri:** So you guys know how we had our match against Getafe last night night?

 

 **Toni:** The one you guys were drenched with rain in. 

 

 **Geri:** Yeah. We got a tie and little saddened and annoyed Leo wanted to go to the hotel room because he was feeling and I quote, "weird". 

 

 **Rafa:** He looked super flushed too. I mean, he's normally flushed because of how pale he is, but this time it looked like he was sick.

 

 **Geri:** Yeah. So I'm like ok. I'll take him to the hotel. I actually feel a little bad now because I thought he was only fussing about the tie because he's Leo. 

 

 **Cris:** Does Getafe medical staff even do anything!?

 

 **Geri:** Of course they do. But you know Leo- he won't tell anyone when he's not feeling good. He's a little hermit.

 

 **Geri:** So we're in the elevator and he's like, gripping the handles super tight and kinda looks the way he does when he's drunk.

 

 **Dani:** Super light headed and dizzy?

 

 **Geri:** Basically.

 

 **Geri:** So we get out and he's dragging his feet from behind me. I go to open the door when I just hear this thump. I turn around and he fucking fainted.

 

 **Sergio:** Knowing you, did you scream?

 

 **Geri:** At first, surprisingly no. I stared at him for like a solid five minutes, poked him with my foot whispering "Leo" and THEN I screamed.

 

 **Ney:** "Stared at him for a solid five minutes" you idiot.

 

 **Cris:** Are you fucking stupid? He's fucking passed out on the floor and all you can do is stare like a goddamn goldfish!?

 

 **Geri:** Hey! In my defense it was a traumatizing moment for me. Anyways, I freak the fuck out. I'm like holy shit what do I do!? So instead of telling Lucho like I probably should've done, I rented a car and drove him to the hospital as sneakily and conspicuously as I could, and no one noticed us.

 

 **Isco:** Wasn't the doctor weirded out?

 

 **Geri:** Not really. He wasn't that big of a fan.

 

 **Sergio:** I'm sorry- I'm still trying to figure out how a 6'4" famous footballer with horrible fashion taste was able to unnoticeably carry a ten times more famous pale footballer to the hospital and get away with it.

 

 **Geri:** I have no other way to respond to you Sergio other than fuck you.

 

 **Cris:** Did you find out what happened?

 

 **Geri:** She said he was overworked, dehydrated, tired, filled with anxiety, needed rest, and was most likely on the verge of a panick attack. So I took his phone away and told him very sternly that he was going to skip the match against Atletico Bilbao and all the practices in between. I called Lucho and he said that was fine.

 

 **Isco:** You told him?

 

 **Geri:** Yes and he was not happy I didn't tell him sooner. Leo needed to stay for a few hours more in the morning.

 

 **Cris:** Are you guys still in Getafe?

 

 **Geri:** Leo and I? Yeah. Our flight isn't until tomorrow afternoon.

 

 **Ney:** We left early this morning though.

 

 **Cris:** Wait right there Geri.

 

 **Geri:** Why? 

 

 **Geri:** Omg.

 

 **Geri:** You aren't seriously about to drive 25 minutes from Madrid to us are you?

 

 **Geri:** Cris! 

 

 **Cris:** Wait. Right. There.

 

 **Toni:** Get you a man that cares about you the way Cris cares about Leo.

 

 **Leo:** Don't bother.

 

 **Geri:** What the fuck? Where'd you get your phone from you little shit?

 

 **Leo:** You literally left it on the side table you idiot.

 

 **Geri:** I swear to god that it was in my pocket.

 

 **Sergio:** Cris just kidnapped me!

 

 **Geri:** Fucking hell- you're bringing Sergio!?

 

 **Cris:** Leo? I'm coming.

 

 **Leo:** Don't.

 

 **Cris:** I fucking hate you sometimes.

 

 **Marcelo:** Cris don't add to his stress.

 

 **Leo:** I'm fine.

 

 **Gareth:** You say that a lot.

 

 **Cris:** I'm already driving over.

 

 **Leo:** Turn around!

 

 **Cris:** No!

 

 **Leo:** Then at least get off your fucking phone before something happens! Focus on your driving stupid.

 

 **Leo:** Dani what the hell are you talking about with this Gandhi stuff?

 

 **Dani:** I am essentially the next Gandhi 

 

 **Iker:** God have mercy on us all.

 

 **Geri:** Leo you shouldn't have your phone.

 

 **Leo:** I still don't understand your logic of taking it away in the first place Geri.

 

 **Geri:** It adds to your anxiety.

 

 **Leo:** I don't have anxiety.

 

 **Ney:** *Sips tea*

 

 **Leo:** Fuck off you Brazilian. Dani I'll join your Gandhi revolt against Neymar. Kick this asshole all the way to England.

 

 **Ney:** IM GOING TO CHELSEA YOU BULLIES!

 

 **Leo:** You guys should convince Cris to turn back. If anything he gives me the most stress.

 

 **Gareth:** How so?

 

 **Leo:** I don't even know. He makes me frustrated.

 

 **Toni:** Sexually?

 

 **Leo:** Honestly what the fuck is wrong with you man. 

 

 **Toni:** Don't ask because I don't have an answer.

 

 **Geri:** Cris is here.

 

 **Leo:** That quick?

 

 **Geri:** I'm pretty sure he got in his car the moment I told him we were still in Getafe.

 

 **Sergio:** you guys I see this really horrifyingly disgusting giraffe.

 

 **Sergio:** It always amuses me to see Leo stand next to Pique because the difference is so big. The super tall one is the giraffe by the way. In case you were wondering.

 

 **Geri:** I'm going to chuck this phone at your face Ramos.

 

 **Ney:** Can you guys fuck already.

 

 **Geri:** WHAT THE FUCK NEY !!!!

 

 **Sergio:** Did you really fucking have to say that shit right when we see each other in person? 

 

 **Dani:** I am Gandhi.

 

 **Iker:** OMFG, DANI SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT GANDHI! YOU ARE NOT FUCKING GANDHI! GANDHI IS ESENTIALLY A REMAKE OF THE BUDDHA WHO STUDIED GOOD MORALS AND SHIT AND WAS COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS TO THE FACT THAT HUMANS WERE DESTROYING EARTH! "LETS BE NICE AND SHIT!" WELL THAT LEADS YOU NO WHERE IN THE 21st CENTURY GANDHI! BECAUSE MLK DID THAT AND WE STILL HAVE COPS SHOOTING INNOCENT PEOPLE AND SEGREGATION AND SHIT AND SOMEHOW THIS WORLD STILL SUCKS ASS!

 

 **Dani:** 0.0

 

 **James:** Iker! :(

 

 **Iker:** I hate everyone!

 

 **Sergio:** What happened!?

 

 **Sergio:** You guys fucking back off from Iker. I'm not kidding. I'll fucking kill all of you. Leave him alone!

 

 **Dani:** He blew up on me! D;

 

 **Iker:** I apologize Dani for my outburst. If you want to be Gandhi, you can be Gandhi.

 

 **Dani:** I am Gandhi!

 

 **Iker:** I take it back. Shut the hell up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG!!!! I'm so upset!
> 
> James Rodriguez just signed a two year deal with FC Bayern Munich! );
> 
> I mean, I'm happy he'll finally be able to get some playing time, but Hala Madrid James! I'll miss you dearly! I always had mixed emotions about him leaving because he deserves more and has great potential that is being wasted on the bench, but at the same time you fit into Real Madrid in a way that made you family. And now your gone and it's weird! I'm just thanking god you didn't go to Manchester United ;3
> 
> I was hoping to watch him play in Miami, and now I'm sad. ):
> 
> That was probably my only opportunity to watch him play!
> 
> It's a shame that you just didn't work out in Zidane's start up. 
> 
> Yet just like Casillas and Pepe, you'll always be Real Madrid to me! Hope you have a good season with Bayern! <3


	12. Chapter 12

Sergio pockets his phone and walks over with Cris.

 

Leo looks paler than usual- eyes tired with bags as he leans against the side of the wall and Cris strides faster. Sergio throws a rock at Geri's back.

 

"Ow! You asshole!" Geri hissed at him. Sergio grins.

 

"Alright Leo and ugly giraffe. We are here to take you to the best city in Spain." Sergio doges the rock Geri throws back at him.

 

"Funny. Our plane to Barcelona is tomorrow, actually." Geri snapped. 

 

"Our plane to Barcelona is tomorrow, actually." Sergio mimics in a high pitchy voice.

 

"Will you two stop?" Cris groans, wrapping an arm around Leo's waist, taking his arm to go around his neck.

 

"I can walk." Leo mutters.

 

"And I don't care." Cris rolls his eyes, directing him towards his car.

 

"Cris! I am not sitting next to him for the next thirty minutes!" Sergio cries.

 

"Then get in the trunk or take a cab!"

 

"The trunk doesn't sound bad." Sergio follows the Portuguese who is straping the Barça star into the front seat.

 

"Don't worry Ramos- I'll personally do the honours of shoving you in and slamming the top shut." Geri's smile is fake as he slides into the back.

 

Sergio scowled at him before getting in and slamming the door.

 

"Watch it! This costs more than you do!" Cris snaps and Sergio lets out a maniacal laugh. "Think again bitch. I'm worth 10 million."

 

"Oh yeah? I'm worth 32 million." Cris says smugly as he pulls out.

 

"And I'm worth 40 million." Leo retorts and Cris scowls.

 

"How much are _you_ worth, Gerard?" Sergio smirks.

 

"I am priceless bitch!" Geri replied. "You make five million." Leo rolls his eyes.

 

Sergio snorts and Geri pulls on his hair hard. "OW!" 

 

"Stop it you two!" Cris snaps. "I'm driving."

 

"He started it!" Geri complained. 

 

"He started it." Sergio mimicked. "I am going to murder him." 

 

"Sergio you're a grown man. Start acting like it." Cris mutters as he drove down to Madrid. Leo rested his head on the side of the glass and peered over at the Portuguese, eyeing him curiously.

 

Cris throws him a glance. "What?"

 

Leo flushed, averting his gaze. "Nothing."

 

~ ***** ~

 

"La maison de Ronaldo." Geri stretched as they entered. 

 

"Was that French?" Cris asks with furrowed brows.

 

"Oui oui bitch." Geri remplisse with a sneaky smile and Cris rolls his eyes.

 

"Where'd you learn French from-"

 

"Samuel." Leo replies easily. "Eto'o?" Sergio asks curiously. "But isn't he from Cameroon?"

 

"Yes, and?" Leo raises an eyebrow at him as they enter the living room, Cris taking his coat. His phone rings and he excuses himself, answering it as he left. "He speaks French but he's from Cameroon?" 

 

Leo looks at Sergio like he's the dumbest person he's ever met. "You are so stupid." Geri falls on the couch, laughing his ass off.

 

"Cameroon is a very bilingual country. They share over 200 different languages that include around 55 Afro-Asiatic languages. They were colonies of both France and the U.K. Through 1916 to 1960. And although French and English are the official languages of the country, a very few percentage of people actually really learn it. German seems to be a language that's arising mostly. More than half of the people in Cameroon don't speak French. The rest are made up of some that kind of speak it and a small 18 percent of those who are pretty fluent. It really depends on which area you're from- but yes. From my understanding, Samuel mainly speaks French, mostly English, some Spanish and a bit of Italian too." Leo gives Sergio a history lesson. 

 

Sergio blinked. "Oh... that's-... cool."

 

Leo stared at him. "Cool?"

 

"Yeah, cool."

 

"Quote of the year goes to Sergio Ramos; He speaks French but he's from Cameroon?" Geri laughed as he throws a pillow at Sergio who flushed in embarrassment.

 

"Sergio- why don't you and Geri go make dinner. I need to have a little chat with Leo." Cris entered the room, his hair slightly disheveled and top buttons undone from his shirt. He looked tired.

 

Leo peeked a look up at him with a frown. "What the hell do you expect us to make? I don't know how to cook-"

 

"Make a pizza or something!" Cris snaps, grabbing Leo by the hand and dragging him upstairs.

 

The two Spaniards sat in silence for a moment.

 

"Pizza!" Geri jumped up, running to the kitchen.

 

"Hey- wait!"

 

~ ***** ~

 

"What's the matter with you lately, Leo?" Cris stared down sternly at the little Argentinian that sat on the edge of his bed, fiddling with the sleeve of his jacket. 

 

"Nothing." He shrugged.

 

"Leo." 

 

"Why do you care?" His voice is shaky and he doesn't look at Cris.

 

"I care. Okay? That's all that matters right now. So explain what's the matter. You guys just won the treble last season, so I don't understand what's wrong-"

 

"You know what Cristiano!? Sometimes football isn't everything!" Leo snapped. 

 

Cris freezes and Leo looks away with embarrassment. "What happened?"

 

"I-.." he stops. "I don't know what else to do." 

 

"About what?" Cris is confused. "About ugh- everything! Don't ask me what's wrong- because I just don't _know_." Leo clenches his fingers through the strands of his hair. "Don't do that." Cris pulls his hand away, running his own fingers through the brown fluff softly to soothe the yank. 

 

"Just- I know there's something wrong. But I just can't seem to figure out what's wrong." Leo shuts his eyes.

 

"Is it football?"

 

He shakes his head.

 

"Your family?"

 

"No."

 

"The media?"

 

"No."

 

"Argentina?"

 

"Not really."

 

"... Me?"

 

"What?"

 

"Me?"

 

Silence.

 

"You read that text."

 

"Yeah."

 

"I didn't mean it in the way that you think."

 

Cris stares at him. "How did you mean it then?"

 

"I'm... not sure." 

 

Cristiano continues to look at him, studying his features before he sighs and pulls Leo into a hug.

 

"Don't hate me." Leo's voice is muffled from where his face is buried in Cristiano's neck.

 

"I don't."

 

They laid in a peaceful silence for a while, until all of a sudden he hears a loud boom and Geri and Sergio screaming their heads off.

 

"CRIS! LEO!!!"

 

"Oh my god..."

 

~ ***** ~

 

"Where's the dough and shit?" Geri rummaged through the drawers.

 

"Hold on you fucker- Cris is going to kill you if you make a mess." Sergio opens the freezer to pull it out. "It's frozen." Geri comments.

 

"No shit."

 

The both stared at it.

 

"Do we wait for it to unfreeze?"

 

"I don't know." They continued staring for a minute more. "This is taking too long!" Geri complains, pulling it out of Sergio's grip.

 

"What are you doing?" Sergio demands.

 

"It needs a little help." Geri puts the dough on a plate and then opens the microwave. 

 

"Should you be doing that?" Geri shrugged in reply.

 

Gerard turns his gaze to Sergio as it hits up, his eyes unwavering and bright.

 

"Stop staring at me like that you freak." Sergio flushed.

 

"You changed your hair."

 

Sergio's hand unconsciously goes up to fiddle with the strands. "Yeah."

 

"You still have that stupid style you've had for the past five years." Sergio retorts back and Geri rolls his eyes.

 

The microwave beeps and Geri pulls out the plate.

 

"It's soft! Eureka Jenson! We have found a solution!" Geri cried out, holding the gloopy dough to Sergio who eyes it in disgust. "That looks so gross."

 

"Its fun to play with." Geri grins slapping it on a pan. "So- now what?"

 

"I don't know. Roll it out." 

 

"Aren't you part Italian?" Geri asked curiously and Sergio scoffs in disbelief. "Hell no. What made you think that? 100% Spaniard here." He goes to the fridge to pull out the cheese, handing it to Geri who is rolling the dough out.

 

He goes to the cupboard to pull out the sauce. "I found the pizza sauce- what the hell are you doing!?"

 

Geri dumps the cheese on the dough.

 

"What?" He asks defensively. "You put the sauce on before dumbass!" Sergio snaps.

 

"No- this is how you get it _extra_ cheesy." Gerard's grin is large.

 

"How the hell do you expect to put sauce on a layer of shredded cheese?"

 

"Shh. Just watch babe." Geri grabs it from Sergio's hand. 

 

Sergio flushed, freezing slightly as he heard the endearment. Geri didn't seem to realize that the word had slipped passed his lips, dumping the sauce on but Sergio's racing heart had picked up on it quickly.

 

 _Nothing_. He tells himself. _It's nothing_.

 

"See? And now you put cheese on the top." Geri sprinkles the cheese on top.

 

Sergio looks pitifully at the messy glob of dough and cheese mixed with sauce. _I'm so sorry this happened to you, pizza_.

 

He pulls out his phone to google how to cook it. "Alright. It says 15 to 20 minutes at 420° Fahrenheit." 

 

"Too long." Geri tsks, throwing the tray onto the bottom shelf of the oven. "Our baby will be ready in five minutes." He promises.

 

Sergio feels a headache coming through. "Our _baby_? And how the hell do you expect to make it in five minutes without it being undercooked?"

 

"Simple. We put it on the bottom so it's closer to the flames and heat shit. And we bump up the heat to 620° Fahrenheit instead of 420. It's basic logic, Sergio. More heat equals less time. It's fool proof!" Geri turns the oven on.

 

"That sounds wrong." 

 

Geri kneels down staring into the oven. "Aw! Look Sergio- we can watch it grow!" He pulls the Madrid captain down next to him a grin on his face. "Remember when it was just raw?" 

 

Sergio can't keep the sideways smile that erupts on his face from appearing, biting back a laugh.

 

He kinda missed this if he was honest. Before all this Barcelona vs Real Madrid crap, he actually spent a lot of time with Geri and he enjoyed it. Geri was always goofing off and joking around and he made everything so much fun. When Gerard left Manchester for Barcelona everything changed. They started ignoring each other when Spain called up. Twitter wars each week for the past five years, fights breaking out on the pitch. He grew to hate everything that involved Gerard. Sitting with him now, no Barcelona, no Madrid, no conspiracies, no _football_ , was soothing and like a breath of fresh air, a nostalgic memory of years ago.

 

Was this what it was like for Cris?

 

 Sergio stared. Geri glanced at him from the corner of his eyes. "What?"

 

"Blue."

 

Geri frowns. "Huh?"

 

"Your eyes. They- They're a lot more blue than the last time I saw you."

 

Geri stared at him intently. "Yeah- well, the last time was a pretty long time."

 

"A long time." Sergio stares at the flames of the oven.

 

He's startled at the hand that reaches up and touches his neck, turning to Geri who smiles sheepishly.

 

"Fuzz." He pulls back to show Sergio the tiny ball of fuzz that was caught in his hair.

 

He jumps in fright- landing in Geri's lap, both screaming when the oven lets out a loud boom. It lets out another boom and they scramble up.

 

"What's happening!?" He reaches to open the oven and a burst of flames comes out.

 

"Geri!" Sergio pulls him back to him quickly before the fire can touch him.

 

"IT'S ON FIRE!" Geri points to the pizza that's set on fire, panic clear in his gaze.

 

Sergio grabs the pan with oven mittens, running around the kitchen with panic. The fire on the pizza grows bigger. "HELP ME YOU IDIOT!"

 

Geri grabs a broom, smacking the pizza with it violently only to have the broom set on fire. He lets out a shrill scream.

 

"THE BROOM IS ON FIRE!"

 

"CRIS! LEO!!!" Sergio cries out hysterically as the two come pounding down the stairs.

 

"The pool! Throw them in the pool!" Geri runs towards the sliding door, Sergio quick behind him. 

 

Sergio throws the pizza and pan into the pool without a second thought but Geri slips on a towel and grabs him, both falling in with a scream.

 

Sergio swims up, coughing out water. Geri emerging after him with sniffles as he shivers from the cold. They get out of the pool, laying on the grass, breathing heavily as they gazed at the sky.

 

"Hey Sergio?" Geri's voice is oddly calm.

 

"Yeah Geri?" Sergio says tiredly.

 

"I missed you."

 

"Missed you too."

 

"The next time we make pizza we're following the directions though."

 

"OH THERE ISN'T GOING TO BE A NEXT TIME!" Cristiano's angry shout is clear as day from inside the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been really into watching Gordon Ramsey shit. Someone help me. 
> 
> Also, can someone write some Cressi because I need some motivation. ):


	13. Chapter 13

**Sergio:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAFA!

 

 **Toni:** Happy Birthday!

 

 **Cris:** Happy Birthday Brazilian Idiot #2!

 

 **Gareth:** Happy Birthday!

 

  **Isco:** Felicidades!

 

 **Ter:** It is not Rafinha's birthday today!

 

 **Ter:** His birthday is February 12! What is wrong with you guys!?

 

 **Rafa:** Lmao what.

 

 **Rafa:** Three things; 1. It isn't my birthday; 2. I don't know if I should be angry I'm called an idiot or upset that I'm #2. I'm always #1 Ronny; 3. Marquinhos is right. It's in February.

 

 **Ter:** I know Rafa better than Rafa knows Rafa.

 

 **Rafa:** He's not wrong.

 

 **Rafa:** I'm actually genuinely upset that so many of you didn't know that, lmao.

 

 **Cris:** I was only following everyone else!

 

 **Isco:** Yeah! I actually felt bad for not remembering when everyone said it!

 

 **Gareth:** Tbh, this is all Sergio's fault.

 

 **Sergio:** Uhhhhh

 

 **Geri:** When is it not his fault.

 

 **Sergio:** Fuck you asshole.

 

 **Iker:** Sese.

 

 **Sergio:** -_-

 

 **Ney:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAFA!

 

 **Rafa:**  Neymar da Silva Santos Júnior, you better be fucking joking or there are going to be some serious problems.

 

 **Ney:** Huh? Isn't it today?

 

 **Rafa:** FEBRUARY 12 !!!

 

 **Ney:** It's in February?

 

 **Rafa:** You fucking ass I hate you so much

 

 **Ney:** Lmao, Rafa I love you.

 

 **Ter:** If you fucking loved him you'd remember his birthday.

 

 **Ney:** WOAH MARC! IT WAS A JOKE BRO! DON'T CRUSH ME WITH YOUR BIG GERMAN GOALIE HANDS, ONLY FOR THE LOLZ

 

 **Geri:** Angry Marc alert.

 

 **Ter:** Sorry, I didn't like what you said for some reason.

 

 **Rafa:** Which part?

 

 **Ter:** All of it?

 

 **Rafa:** I think you're lying.

 

 **Cris:**  com ciúmes

 

 **Rafa:** Shut up Cristiano. He isn't.

 

 **Ter:** I don't know Portuguese.

 

 **Rafa:** That's why I'm helping ya. First the Spanish and then the Portuguese. You're getting there bit by bit.

 

 **Ter:** (:

 

 **Sergio:** I think we should do a Rafinha appreciation post as an apology.

 

 **Rafa:** Nah it's fine.

 

**Ney:**

 

**Leo:**

 

**Geri:**

  

 **Rafa:** Holy fuck pls stop

 

**Dani:**

 

**Sergi:**

**Marcelo:**

 

**Cris:**

 

 **Rafa:** Omfg I'm cringing.

 

**Marc:**

  

 **Rafa:** You guys done?

 

**Cris:**

 

 **Ter:** Uh

 

**Cris:**

 

**Leo:**

 

 **Rafa:** Oh please don't

 

**Ney:**

**Dani:**

 

 **Ter:** Stop please. 

 

**Toni:**

 

 **Rafa:** He doesn't like it. Stop.

 

**Sergio:**

 

**Toni:**

**Ney:**

 

 **Ter:** Stop it already!

 

 **Rafa:** HE DOESN'T LIKE IT

 

**Cris:**

**Toni:**

**Toni:**

 

**Cris:**

 

**Ney:**

 

 **Ter:** I SAID FUCKING STOP!!

 

 **Marc:** Stop guys.

 

 **Ney:** Sorry

 

 **Toni:** Oh shit, Es tut uns leid Marc

 

 **Sergio:**  I didn't think it'd make you that upset. I'm sorry.

 

 **Cris:** I'm not.

 

 **Leo:** Cris please don't

 

 **Iker:** Cristiano stop

 

 **Cris:** Why? He's acting like he doesn't care at all. Why is Rafinha putting in all the work for nothing?

 

 **Rafa:** Shut up you asshole fucking hypocrite! You know nothing!

 

_**Rafinha Alcántara** has left **El Clasico**._

 

 **Ter:** Shut up! Who are you to know how much I care or not!? Rafa means more to me then you'd ever imagine! You complete dick!

 

_**Marc-André Ter Stegen** has left **El Clasico.**_

 

 **Ney:** What the hell Cristiano!

 

 **Dani:** You ass!

 

 **James:** That wasn't necessary.

 

 **Geri:** Are you fucking kidding me Cris.

 

 **Sergio:** Seriously tho Cris. Is it THAT difficult for you to not end every conversation in a fucking argument that leads everyone in the chat to hate you?

 

 **Cris:** Ugh.


	14. Terfinha

"I don't speak Spanish."

 

The man in front of him had a look of surprise that quickly turned uncomfortable. "Um- You.." he points to Marc who blinks. "You, Barcelona, yes?"  

 

Marc nods. "Your bag?" He picked up to show the German who smiled brightly, nodding. They began walking out of the airport. "I take you house. And Camp Nou." 

 

"Gracias."

 

~•~

 

"I don't speak Spanish." 

 

Andres Iniesta looks at him with awkwardness. Marc-Andre continues to smile politely, a ghost of dullness in his eyes.

 

"Sorry. I just welcome." He tries but Marc thanks him and he's out of the hallway quickly.

 

He didn't realize how weird it was before he signed the contract.

 

~•~

 

"He doesn't understand anything I'm telling him." Enrique rubs his face in frustration. "Pique! Please try to explain something to him before we lose this match."

 

"Uh- Marc!" Geri runs over to the goalie who is getting incredibly frustrated.

 

"You keep going izquierda you need to centrar."

 

Marc stared. "What?"

 

Geri runs a frustrated hand through his hair. "You." He points to Marc. "You are here." He points to the left goal post. "Coach say here." He puts his hands on the center.

 

"Oh." Marc falters, shifting over. "I'm sorry that I don't speak Spanish."

 

"It's okay. You'll get it one day." Geri pats him before running back to his position.

 

Marc looks at the left goal post. "Izquierda." He repeated.

 

~•~

 

"I don't speak Spanish."

 

Dani furrows his brows. "Que?" Marc heats up but Dani only chuckles, ruffling his hair as he walked towards his locker.

 

"It's Rafa!!!" Sergi shouts loudly when the door to the locker room opens.

 

A short dark haired Brazilian appeared, dressed in a dark sweater and jeans, a SnapBack on his head as he grinned goofily. His dark eyes had a light playfulness in them as they scanned the room.

 

That was when Marc met Rafinha.

 

Rafa jumped onto Geri's back, pulling on his hair slightly. "You're back already!? Couldn't you spend another week in Brazil?" Geri complained.

 

"You missed me." He teased, before moving onto Leo. "Leoooo. I'm back!" 

 

"Neymar was already a struggle without you here." Leo grinned. 

 

"RAFA!" Neymar jumped on his back. "Get of me!" Rafa shoved him away as Dani hugs him closely.

 

"We missed you!" Adriano cheered as Douglas ruffled his hair. "How was it?"

 

"Amazing! I'd stay longer, but I knew all of you were missing me, so I decided to come back." He snarks with a cocky grin.

 

"It's good to see you Rafa!" Andres hugs him loosely.

 

"I know- I'm the best! Thiago says hello by the way." 

 

Leo pouts. "I miss Ti." Rafa rolls his eyes. "I'm way better than Thiago."

 

"Yeah keep telling yourself that." Neymar laughed as he pulled Rafa into a headlock.

 

Everyone was around him, speaking in fast Spanish and all Marc could do was look at them in confusion as he kept to himself, fiddling with his goalie gloves nervously. He couldn't help the fact that he was imountably jealous. It was just so easy for this guy. To come in here and speak flawlessly, making everyone love him.

 

"I think Rafa needs a group hug!" Geri grabs him. "No!" He cries out but it's too late as everyone jumps onto him. "A big Barça welcome!" 

 

Rafa tries to pull away, but Geri's arms are like metal. It's then, trying to get away, that he sees Marc.

 

The German is isolated on the other side of the room, sitting in front of his locker with a frown.

 

Rafa falters. "Aye alemán!" Marc stares back at Rafa and then points to himself. "Si, tu. Ven aca." 

 

"I don't speak Spanish."

 

Rafa frowns as the group hug disperses. "Ven aca."

 

Marc gives him a confused look. "Uh- no hablo espanol?"

 

Rafa raised an eyebrow. "Ven aca." 

 

"Rafa leave him alone. He doesn't know what you're saying."

 

Rafa's eyes don't leave the icy blue ones of the German. "Ven." He curls his finger. "Aca." He points to where they're standing.

 

Marc got up unconsciously, walking over. Rafa grins, opening his arms out. "Nice to meet you. I'm Rafinha."

 

And Marc swears it's the first time he's ever felt comfortable since he landed in Barcelona.

 

~•~

 

He thought that was it. That he'd be pushed aside and ignored again after Rafinha's grand entrance. And for a couple of days it was.

 

Rafa didn't really pay much attention to him. He mostly hanged out with the Brazilians- and well, everyone. Marc continued to struggle with the language barriers no matter how hard he tried to get along with the others, it was too awkward and he was uncontrolably shy.

 

"No, no.. Marc! Mira a tu derecha. El fondo." Luis points.

 

"What?" Marc looks at his coach in bewilderment as they train.

 

"Derecha!" He points, but Marc doesn't understand.

 

"Derecha, fondo." Luis says more slowly, and Marc snaps. Weeks of frustration start pouring out.

 

"You saying it slower isn't going to help when I just don't know what you're saying!" He shouts and the field becomes quiet.

 

Luis rubs his eyes.

 

Marc just throws his gloves to the floor and storms off to the locker room.

 

"God, this is horrible." Geri groaned.

 

Rafa picks up the gloves. He stares at them for a moment.

 

"Don't worry." He drops them softly next to the goalpost. "How can we not worry?" Gerard asks in exasperation. A confident smile is on the Brazilian's face. "Don't worry." He repeats.

 

~•~

 

Marc jumps, startled when a stack of books is dropped on the table in front of him. He forgets his sandwich as he looks up to see a grinning Rafa.

 

"I want to learn German." He says and Marc blinks. "What?"

 

"You help me with German," he begins with thick accented English. "I help you with Spanish. Yes?"

 

Marc feels his heart race. "I- really?"

 

Rafa nods with a hopeful smile. "Will you?"

 

"Oh- uh.. r-right! Y-yes of c-course." He stutters out, a flush forming on his cheeks.

 

"Good! Que hay dentro del emparedado?" he sits down next to the German, peering curiously at his tray.

 

"What?" 

 

Rafa shakes his head. "No what. Qué."

 

"Qué." Marc repeats and the other nods.

 

"Um, qué?" 

 

Rafa picks up his sandwich. "emparedado." 

 

"emparedado." 

 

"Sí." He opens the sandwich, indicating the inside. "Dentro."

 

"Dentro? Does that mean inside?" When Rafa nods Marc let's out an "ohh." Of realization. "Are you asking me what's inside the sandwich?"

 

"Sí! Bueno Marc." Rafa grins and Marc feels a large smile overcoming his face.

 

"Um chicken."

 

"Pollo."

 

"Pollo."

 

"Mayo."

 

"Mayonesa."

 

"Mayonesa!"

 

"Olives?"

 

"Aceitunas."

 

"Ashutuhas?"

 

Rafa giggled shaking his head. "Aceitunas."

 

"Aceitunas. Del emparedado pollo, mayonesa, aceitunas. A sandwich with chicken, mayo, and olives." Marc becomes giddy, blue eyes bright, bubbling with excitement.

 

 _Okay, he's adorable_. Rafa concludes.

 

"Almost. Un emparedado con pollo, mayonesa y aceitunas."

 

"Un emparedado con pollo, mayonesa y aceitunas." Marc repeats with a thick accent. It didn't matter though. He spoke Spanish. "Do you wanna know how to say it in German!?" Marc exclaims, grabbing the sandwich.

 

"Chicken. Hähnchen."

 

Rafa blinks. "I'm sorry- _what_!?"

 

"Hähnchen."

 

"Habellen?"

 

Marc's giggle was contagious. "That definitely needs work!"

 

So what if it warmed Rafa's heart a bit?

 

~•~

 

"Do you like white chocolate or milk chocolate? Te gusta el chocolate blanco o el chocolate con leche?" Marc holds out the bars, sitting on the couch in his home.

 

"Hmm.." Rafa furrows his brows form where he's laying, his head resting in the German keepers lap. "I like white chocolate. Ich mag weiße Schokolade."

 

"Good because I like milk chocolate. Bueno porque me gusta el chocolate con leche." He hands the younger man the bar. Rafa raises an eyebrow. "Impressive progress."

 

"You too."

 

~•~

 

 "Marquinhos- look!" Rafa was smiling smugly as he presented his goalie glove clad hands to the German.

 

"Take them off before you do something." Marc walks over but Rafa jumps into the goal. "I'm gonna be the goalie today!"

 

"Rafinha! We're celebrating winning the treble and all you want to do is play goalie?" 

 

"Yup." Rafa jumps up to tap the top post before getting in a goalie pose. "You know I was actually training to be a goalie at first? But then I was like nah."

 

Marc rolls his eyes, leaning against the left post as he watched. On the far side was everyone else, taking photos with the glittering Champions League trophy.

 

"I can't believe Geri tried to cut this net, only to give up half way." Rafa snorted, grabbing the post and swinging.

 

"Rafa stop before you end up doing something stupid that's going to get you hurt." Marc watches him swing.

 

"This is fun though! And a good arm muscle exercise." Rafa grinned, and Marc eyed the raising bottom of the post hesitantly. "Rafa, seriously-"

 

A screech escaped the other's mouth as the post bent too far, falling over.

 

"RAFA!" Marc grabbed the Brazilian in panic, yanking him to his chest inside right before the post could crush his fingers against the grass.

 

Marc sat up, the net covering his body. "What did I tell you-" he begins angrily, turning to the Brazuca only to see him passed out. Marc paled.

 

"Rafa.." he shakes the boy. "Rafa! Hey- Rafa! Rafa!" Tears began blurring his vision. "Rafa-"

 

"I'm fine! I'm fine!" Rafinha blinks his eyes open. "I kinda blacked out from fear for a sec." 

 

Marc let out a shaky breath, burying his head in the other's chest, uncaring of the thousands of fans that could be watching them from the stands. "Y-You scared me.. I-I thought-"

 

"Shh. It's okay. Are you fine?"

 

Marc raised his head in disbelief, angry tears streaming down his flushed and puffy cheeks. "Me? Are you serious Rafinha! How can you even-" A hand reaches up and fingers thread through his hair soothingly, cutting him off. 

 

Rafa is smirking at him- he's smirking, and it's pissing Marc off even more.

 

"I hate you!" Marc cries out louder, crawling through the open from the bottom to get out.

 

"What the hell are you two doing?" Geri and Ney had jogged over. 

 

"Ask Rafa!" Ter brushes past them, wiping furiously at his cheeks.

 

"Wait! Marc- you're Spanish is almost perfect lately!" Rafa is laying on the floor, laughing his ass off. It makes the flush in Marc's face grow dark, ears reddening. 

 

"YOUR GERMAN STILL SUCKS!"

 

~•~

 

"Listen- Marquinhos! I'm sorry. Please don't ignore me." Rafinha whined as the German shook him off his arm violently.

 

"Go away." He slurs, the music of Geri's packed house pounding in his ears.

 

"Fucking Germans and their beer..." Rafa mutters, staring at him unimpressedly as he chugged down yet another bottle of beer.

 

"Want one?" He asks in drunken happiness, holding a bottle out, completely forgetting the fact that he's suppose to be angry.

 

"No thanks buddy." 

 

Marc pouts setting it down on the counter. "Why nottt?"

 

Rafa chuckled, resting his cheek in his palm as he stared intently at the keeper. "Who else is going to drive your drunk ass home?"

 

"Du bist nicht lustig." Rafa smacked his arm lightly. "Bad Marc. In Spanish."

 

"No eres gracioso." Marc leaned into him to whisper the words in a mimic. Rafa moved back with an unamused look.

 

"Okay. Time for Marc to go home. Come on." He grabbed the drunkard's arm wrapping it around his shoulder, dragging him towards the exit. "But Rafaellll!" He whined.

 

Rafa heated up. "Hey! It's Rafinha or Rafa to you mister. Now wave bye to Geri." Rafa forcibly waved the German's hand for him as Geri continued to throw darts at a dartboard with the Real Madrid symbol on it, laughing maniacally as he did.

 

"Yer so meannn." He complains as Rafa buckled him in, starting the car.

 

"Hey- you'll be thanking me later Marquinhos. And besides, I'm pretty sure most people would think the roles would be switched in these scenarios." He chuckled, driving towards Marc's lavishing apartment.

 

"You usually never drink." Marc mutters, resting his forehead on the glass, staring at the city lights of Barcelona pass by.

 

Rafa's grip on the wheel tightens as he throws a glance at the drunkenly flushed goalie. "I don't like to." 

 

"Okay we're here." Rafa makes more effort to pull the man into the building and into the elevator. 

 

"Do you have your room key?" Marc nods fumbling with his pockets as they got higher up.

 

"Here silly." Rafa slides his arms around the taller man's waist, sliding his hands into the back pockets.

 

"Rafa."

 

The strained voice makes him look up. Marc is staring at him intensely. Rafa freezes. "Uh- sorry." He pulls back with embarrassment, hand wrapped tightly around a pair of keys. Marc's eyes are still tense as Rafa drags him to the door when the elevator's opens.

 

He opens the door and walks in.

 

"You want me to get you some water? Anything to eat?" 

 

Ter shakes his head. "Bed." He grunts.

 

"Okay caveman." Rafa rolls his eyes, pulling him over to his room. 

 

"Here- sit." He drops him onto the bed.

 

He turns to put the German's phone on the charger and his keys on the dresser when he turns around, he chuckles.

 

Marc's glazed blue eyes met his and he pouted, hair messily flopping on his forehead as he struggled to take his shoes off. "Rafa! Help me!"

 

"A please now and then would be appreciated." Rafinha snorts, kneeling next to him to pull his shoes off with ease.

 

"Okay. Go to sleep. I'll send you a text in the morning. I'll be right back, okay? I need to feed Licht and get you some painkillers for tomorrow morning." Marc nods wildly and Rafa jogs down to the kitchen, opening the fridge and pulling out the milk.

 

He pours it into the feeding bowl and whistles for the fur ball. "Licht.. Milch." He calls.

 

The snow white furred kitten crawls out from under the sofa, his red collar jingling with the bell as he pads over, sipping.

 

"Gutes Kätzchen." He scratches the back of his ears before grabbing the Advil from the cabinet.

 

He strolls back to the room, reading the package carefully. "Okay it says to only take two- what are you doing!?" Rafa turns pink, watching a flushed Marc trying to unbutton his shirt and jeans, but failing- the shirt falling over his shoulder.

 

Marc looks up at him hazily a desperate look in his eyes. "Rafa- t-too hot... please.."

 

Rafa backs away, feeling warm all of a sudden. "W-What do you want me to do!?"

 

"Rafa.. clothes- take them off. Please take them off me." Marc stood in a stagger and Rafa rushed over to hold him upright before he went crashing to the ground. He shut his eyes with furrowed brows, cheeks aflame. "Take them off.. please... too hot.."

 

"Stop! I'll take them off. Ju-Just shut up for a second." Rafa tries to control his racing heart as he moves his hands towards the buttons on the front of the German's shirt, unbuttoning them quickly. He peeled it off and threw it in the laundry basket by the bed. "Jeans.."

 

"You do those!" Rafa snaps in embarrassment and Marc looks like a hurt little puppy. "Fuck- Marc..."

 

With apple red cheeks, he unbuttoned the jeans, pulling them down until he was only clad in black boxers. He threw it in the basket as well with a hard and unnecessary force, but he need to ease his whirlpool of emotions.

 

He turns quickly, not sparing the other a glance. "I'm gonna go now-" A hand gripped his tightly, cutting him off short as he froze.

 

"Stay."

 

Rafa turns slowly to stare at his friend in shock over his shoulder, body tense. "I-I really have to go Marc.." Marc's hair is covering his eyes, and Rafa doesn't know what he's thinking about right now.

 

"Stay... Stay- stay!" Rafa stumbles back when he's pushed, landing on the bed with a yelp. He barely has time to do anything really when Marc climbs on top of him, pinning him down. 

 

"Marc your drunk.." Rafa says weakly as the keeper nuzzles into his neck.

 

"Why do you keep doing this to me? D-Do you have an-any idea how worried I was?" Marc cups his cheeks pulling back a bit to stare at Rafa, his eyes filled with pain.

 

"I'm sorry, Marc." Rafa whispers, unable to look away. "No you're not! Y-You could've gotten hurt a-and you're sitting there.. laughing! I told you not to.. why didn't you listen to me?" Marc's pinky cheeks were warm. "What would I do without you? Y-You're the only thing that I.. That I need. I need you." 

 

Rafa is really starting to wonder if he drunk anything by accident. The way his blood was pumping and heart was beating shouldn't have been happening.

 

"I.. I need you."

 

And Rafa really should've seen it coming.

 

His eyes widened greatly, heart beating wildly against his ribcage as Marc pressed his lips against Rafa's.

 

"Umph-"

 

He really hated himself for kissing back, grabbing him by his neck and pulling him closer. He nibbled on his lips and wrapped his legs around the other's waist tightly. "Rafa.. Rafa.."

 

The lips slid off his to move down to his collarbone, sucking a bruising dark mark there. Rafa let out a breathless moan, griping his blond strands tightly. It was when Marc moved back up to kiss him again- twice as hard as he began rolling his hips into his that Rafa realized what was happening was _wrong_.

 

"N-No.. Marc, stop." Rafa turned his head, detaching their mouths. He pushed his chest when he tried to swop in for another kiss.

 

"Why?" Marc whined, struggling against his hold. "This is wrong Marc!" Rafa was glad Marc was sluggish. If he wasn't drunk, there'd be no way he could push away.

 

"Rafaaa!" Marc tried to grab him but the Brazilian ran into the bathroom, locking the door as he leaned his back against it. He slid to sit on the floor, breathing heavy with messy hair and flushed cheeks, eyes still glazed with shock.

 

"Rafa." A small voice called from the other side, knocking quietly. "Rafa I'm s-sorry."

 

Rafa shut his eyes, shoving his face into his knees as he curled up.

 

"I won't kiss you anymore. Promise." 

 

Rafa doesn't answer him, doesn't move until the knocks on the other side have ceased, almost an hour later.

 

When he opens the door, he sees a passed out Marc sleeping on the floor.

 

Rafa picks him up, dragging him to his bed before dropping him in. 

 

He stares. "Oh Marc, what have you done.." He whispers, brushing the blond strands out of his face.

 

Was he always this beautiful?

 

~•~

 

"Hey, Rafa. Thanks for dropping me off."

 

Marc's voice made him jump, head banging on the shelf of his locker. "Fucking hell!"

 

Marc pulled him out, turning his head to assess the damage. "You okay?" 

 

Rafa pullled away quickly, cheeks flushing as he refused to meet the keeper's gaze. "I-I'm fine."

 

Marc frowned. "Did something happen?" Rafa looks at him with disbelief. "You don't remember?"

 

Marc gave him a confused look. "What'd I do?"

 

Rafa froze. _Should I tell him?_

 

_No. What if things become awkward?_

 

_But.. he should know, right?_

 

_You're teammates._

 

_There's always a possibility of more._

 

_You think Marc really wants that? Come on, Rafa.. don't be deluded._

 

_But he kissed me. That has to mean something, right?_

 

As the inter monologue/argument continued raging in his between his devil and angel side (he wasn't really sure which one was which), he looked up at the baby faced and bright blue eyed man in front of him and slumped.

 

"Uh, Marc... last night.." he trailed off and Marc gave him a hesitant smile. "Yes?"

 

Rafa stared. "Marc- you kissed me."

 

 The German's smile didn't drop. "On the cheek? Come on- I do that all the time-"

 

"Not on the cheek, Marc.." Rafa whispers as their teammates continued to dress and chatter among themselves. That causes his smile to drop.

 

"No I didn't." He says affirmatively.

 

Rafa's mouth dropped. "Yes you did."

 

"No I didn't!" He whispers the shout.

 

A pang zips through Rafa. "You did! Don't even get me started on the hickey!" He says in embarrassment and hurt, pulling his collar over to show the other the dark bruise on his collarbone.

 

"I didn't do it, okay!" Marc pushes him against his locker, covering his neck. When Rafa looks at his face, the other is flushed and looks embarrassed.

 

Rafa sighs. "You didn't do it."

 

Marc stared at him regretfully. "I didn't."

 

"You didn't." He pushed him away to walk to the exit.

 

"I'm sorry Rafinha."

 

It hurts more than it should.

 

~•~

 

Marc rushes up the steps to the front door in a panic, only to stop when he hears the lull of the guitar from the back.

 

Of course. 

 

He jumps down the porch and jogs around the large house to the backyard. 

 

Rafa is a pretty simple guy to understand. 

 

He's laying on the grass, hoodie over his forehead flopping dark hair, staring up at the sky as he thrums his fingers over the strings of the instrument. He's played for so long that he doesn't even have to look anymore to know his finger placement.

 

"Rafa." He doesn't even look surprised that Marc's here, sitting up with a sigh. He reaches a hand out to the other as invitation and Marc hugs him tightly from behind, burying his face into the other's neck as tears began to stream.

 

"H-He's wrong! Cristiano doesn't know anything- ri-right?"

 

"Yeah.."

 

"Don't listen to him. They don't understand what it's like to not know how to do something as simple as communicating with people around you that don't understand a damn thing you're saying. They'll never understand."

 

"Shh. I know."

 

"You mean so much to me.. the things you've done for me these past two years is something I could never repay you of. I'm so grateful of you Rafa- you have no idea."

 

"I know. It's okay."

 

"I-I need you. You're the only person that matters. You're my best friend."

 

That's when the tears start streaming down Rafa's face.

 

"I know."

 

_Falling in love with your friend was a bunch of painful bullshit anyway._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God damn it, what am I doing to this story. T___T
> 
> Sorry or your welcome for the long ass chapter. (I'm bringing the funny stuff back soon ((hopefully)) okay)
> 
> * This chapter was heavily inspired by the song Look Out by James Vincent McMorrow. Recommend that everyone check it out*
> 
> "In the corner, fare the flint soul, I've heard it's all the same. And I hope I'm still in love, of course. When it does hit the sun."
> 
> I love feedback, so leave a comment please! <3


	15. Neymar To PSG Rant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you are a hardcore Neymar loving fan that has no filter, don't read my rant. I slam him pretty hard. Please note that I don't hate Neymar. I don't hate him for leaving. I don't hate him for his reasons of leaving. I don't hate him at all.
> 
> I hate some of the ways he went about this move.
> 
> Just go down to the rant over to know what's up currently.

Sorry for disappearing. I just got back from Miami for the El Clasico and it's been hectic. It was such an amazing freaking experience- you guys have no idea. Even tho we lost, it was great. Got to see Neymar play one last time for Barça too.

 

_**\- RANT ALERT - (Ney to PSG)** _

 

Alright.

 

Wow, where do I begin?

 

  
Neymar.

 

  
Jesus fucking Christ dude.

 

  
I don't even care about the fact that you left Barça because HALA Madrid. Where you go I'll support and let you deal with it in your personal ways. You had your reasons- wether it be money, fame, trophies, challenges. I don't care. I'm not a big Barcelona fan. (A little bit. I like certain players- wished they were at Madrid)

 

But I'm a big fan of fucking Respectable Football.

 

And there's one thing that annoyed me, and one thing that left me fucking disgusted.

 

The annoying thing is you protecting your (I'm not even kidding) money hungry father. Don't lie. He wanted you to go to PSG. He wanted you to make 200 mill. You didn't "contradict" him. Don't make a fool out of us. We aren't stupid.

 

 

The thing that made me fucking disgusted:

 

YOUR. SILENCE.

 

 

How fucking dare you.

 

Do you have any respect for the club that helped form you as a player? The club that you grew in? I'm not even a fucking Barcelona fan but surely you've gotta have a bit more respect than that!

 

If you did that at Real Madrid, I wouldn't even be able to LOOK at your face without feeling disgusted.

 

Next:

 

Do you have any respect for your FANS!? Not even one word for them? Of course you've worked hard to get to where you are today(and I respect you for that) but don't cast aside the millions of people that stay up until 3 in the morning staring at a television screen waiting for the moment you step onto the pitch in excitement to watch you play because of how much they love you. A word. That's it.

 

And finally:

 

Your teammates.

 

This got me the most.

 

To watch the pain in their eyes. You've made these past two weeks torture for them. Let me tell you as a Real Madrid fan, I don't really care about Barcelona. They're a great team, I'll admit. But no way in my mind will they ever be better than Madrid. Of course everyone has different thoughts and beliefs and I don't want to argue. This is what I believe, please respect that. But seriously. I really don't like Busquets, mascherano is annoying, Geri kinda pisses me off sometimes(but he's Geri so it's ok afterwards) and what even is Gomes?

 

But Andres Iniesta? 

 

No way am I standing for that. The tiredness and pain that is so evident in his face and voice whenever he spoke about this fucking topic was almost unbearable for me. You had me almost ripping my hair out in frustration. 

 

Why? Just why? Why did you do this to them?

 

It was so brutally obvious that no one from the Barcelona team knew your decision because you wouldn't talk about it. Not even with them. They didn't know if you were staying or leaving. The media was always down their fucking throats 24/7 too.

 

_"What's happening with Neymar?"_

 

_"What are your thoughts of Neymar possibly leaving?"_

 

_"Is Neymar leaving?"_

 

And their replies?

 

_**"I don't know. Neymar has to say something."** _

 

And you let this continue on for weeks? What the fuck Neymar?

 

They even asked _Kaka_.

 

KAKA!

 

BRUHHHH WHAT THE FUKKK

 

That's disgraceful to me. You've definitely lost a chunk of respect I had for you because of that.

 

And before people go to compare him with James- no.

 

Hell.

No.

 

Don't you fucking dare.

 

_**\- RANT OVER -** _

 

I just wanted to get it off my chest and especially show other fans that you don't have to be a Barça fan to call out disrespect in the football community. Respectful football first. Always. Respect even before Madrid for me. 

 

And please try to keep the comments respectful and mature. Please. I will delete purposeful negativity that isn't constructive criticism. 

 

Besides all the disrespectful shit Neymar has put Barcelona, fans, and his teammates through, I wish him good luck (He'll need it) in his future with PSG. I wish him good health and a successful career.

 

It's gonna be weird seeing him out of the red and blue. I really thought he was gonna replace Messi. Kinda sad actually. Who knows. Maybe like Gotze switching from BVB to Bayern and back to BVB, Neymar will find his way back to Barça. Highly doubt Barcelona fans will be welcoming though. (I wouldn't)

 

Now. On my stories. I just- These past couple years have been sad in the footballing community. Xabi and Lahmm retiring, Iker leaving Madrid a couple years back, Ney and Dani leaving Barça, James leaving, Pepe leaving.. 

 

I just- can't write in time set of the current year.

 

Neymar will continue to be in my stories. All my stories will now take place between the 2015/2016 season and seasons before. 

 

I like to live in the past, alright? Maybe some day I'll be strong enough to accept that everyone is getting old- just not today. 

 

Sorry.

 

To end on a good note- I MET SERGIO FREAKING RAMOS!!!!

 

THAT'S RIGHT.

 

I got him to sign a jersey for me, and how much I love him and the others at Real for being so fan friendly. He was sooo nice. Such a wonderful person. I love Sergio so much.

 

I will hopefully have some chapters up for my stories this weekend or next week. Still unpacking.

 

Were any of you at the El Clasico in Miami? Who were you rooting for?

 

Thanks for all the Kudos and comments! You guys are amazing, omg. I didn't even realise how popular this got! 174 kudos!? What!? Thanks so much! You guys are the best.


	16. Gerio

"Red or Green?" Isco holds out the cards to Sergio who munches on his toast. "Green."

 

"Alright." He hands it out. "Hey- is Geri ok?" Iker frowns, eyeing the Catalonian with hesitancy. Sergio turns to look at the defender with no emotion. "Who cares. Probably bitching about some Madrid gossip again." Alvaro mutters.

 

"You're playing and that's final, do you understand me?"

 

 

Gerard presses end, throwing his phone across the room in anger, watching it hit the wall and smash in a bunch of tiny little pieces. "Fucking asshole!"

 

His Spanish teammates quieted around him, staring at the broken phone with parted lips of shock.

 

He sees Andres try to approach him but he slips out of the dinning hall, slamming the door after him.

 

Sergio blinks, staring at the door curiously. "Well that was.."

 

"Not like Geri." Cesc mutters.

 

~•~

 

"PUTA PIQUE!"

 

A can hits the top of the Spaniard's head, but the defender keeps trudging to the practice grounds- almost dead. Emotionless.

 

 

Sergio watches Iniesta cling to the taller Barcelona partner, talking in a hushed yet hurried voice, his face concerned. 

 

Geri only shrugs, pushing past him.

 

"I don't know what to do." Andres whispers to Iker, Sergio nosing in like always.

 

"What's wrong?" The goalie asked with worry. 

 

"He hasn't eaten since.. well, Barcelona. No real meal at least. He really doesn't want to be here." Andres continues. 

 

"With us?" Cesc says lowly as well.

 

Sergio really shouldn't be listening.

 

"No. He just really doesn't want to be in this part of  _Spain_."

 

"What's wrong with here?" Sergio snaps, cutting into their conversation. The three players jump with surprise.

 

"This really doesn't concern you Sergio." Iker warns.

 

Sergio ignores him. "It's because we're in Madrid, right? He just can't fucking grow up-"

 

"That's not why." Andres' voice is flat with finality. 

 

"Then why-"

 

"That's why!" Xavi snaps from behind them, pointing over to the other side of the pitch.

 

Gerard is arguing heavily with an old man in a suit, their coach next to them looking incredibly worried.

 

"Is that- Joan Pique? His dad?"

 

"Yes- now leave him alone. It's none of your business." Xavi mutters.

 

"What is he doing here?" Marc joins them, looking on him disbelief. 

 

"I hate that man." Sergi mumbles to himself, glaringly so.

 

"That makes two of us." Sergio narrows his eyes.

 

"I suggest you listen to me, Gerard." Joan says threateningly, walking away from the coach, towards the exit of the practice grounds. Geri is quick to pound after him, cheeks flushed with anger and sickness. 

 

"Why should I!? It's not like I don't listen to you whenever you say other shit, right!?" Geri's voice comes out in pants and he seems sluggish with his movements.

 

"You're playing."

 

"You're _killing me_." The defender's eyes glaze with tiredness, the dark bags under them and the hollowed cheeks evidence enough. It doesn't settle well with Sergio. 

 

"Get out of your fucking skirt and put on some shorts. You're acting like a child. If you aren't on that pitch, then we're having serious problems. This conversation is over." He exits.

 

"GET OUT OF MY LIFE AND THEN I'LL GROW UP!" Geri shouts after him, kicking the closed door with fury.

 

"Geri!" Iker calls and the defender storms towards them. 

 

"I've had enough! After the next World Cup- I'm _done_ with Spain." There's obvious hurt burning in his eyes and Sergio freezes at his words. He's obviously not talking to Sergio, eyes pointed to his Barça teammates but it sends pangs through the Real defender anyway.

 

"Oh Geri.. you don't meant that." Marc says sadly to the fumbling player.

 

"I've had enough of that sick bastard ruining my life here. As long as I'm in the National Team, I-I'll never.. never.."

 

Sergio sees it before anyone else. "Geri!" He grabs the taller man who staggers back with half closed lids, about to faint. A series of coughs leave his mouth along with pants- almost as if he was struggling to breathe.

 

"Geri!" Marc and Andres are on his other side, watching as the defender sputtered out pained noises and coughs as he knelt.

 

"He's burning up." Sergio informs Iker, holding up his teammate by the shoulders firmly. "He's pale too- Xavi," Sergi sends a worried look to the other.

 

"We need a medic!" Iker shouts to the others waving his hands frantically. 

 

"I-I'm fine." Geri tries to get up, but Cesc and Sergio stop him. "No you aren't."

 

"I don't need a medic. Get off me." Geri struggles in Sergio's hold.

 

"Stop it!" Sergio shouts at him. Geri gives him a pained look. "Just- stop. Stop pretending it's okay. It's _not_."

 

Geri slumps against him, letting his back press against Sergio. He was completely drained. 

 

Xavi and Iker eye them curiously, but don't say anything.

 

"I'm not fine." He mumbles it, but Sergio hears him clearly.

 

"I know. And it's _okay_."

 

~•~

 

"He's fine now. But he won't be playing tonight." The doctors inform them.

 

"What happened?"

 

"Dehydration, lack of food, lack of sleep. And stress. Lots and lots of stress." The doctor sighs. "Just keep an eye on him. Make sure he eats well. It's pretty obvious we can't take his stress away. That's like taking football away. But try to help ease it a bit. I'm sure he'll be fine- better once he's back at Barcelona."

 

Sergio stood. "He can stay with me."

 

"What!?" Iker turns to him so fast Sergio wonders if he got whiplash. "With you!?"

 

"Yeah." 

 

There's a moment of silence. "Are you so sure that's a good idea?" Andres picks his words carefully.

 

"It's not like I'm going to suffocate him in his sleep!" Sergio snaps. "Besides- a house is better than a hotel right?"

 

"Why do you care so mu-" Xavi stops Cesc by covering his mouth. "Alright."

 

~•~

 

Geri is tense where he sits on Sergio's couch. 

 

"Stop looking like you're in Hitler's lair."

 

"It fucking feels like it." Gerard mumbles. "Be grateful you dick." 

 

Sergio plops down next to him putting the tray of food in his lap. "Here."

 

Geri eyes it carefully. "If there's poison-"

 

"Will you just shut up already?" Sergio grabs the remote with a frown, turning the tv on. He felt nervous- of course he did. Gerard's never been to his house. Even before Barcelona back when he played with Manchester. 

 

"Did you make this?" Geri bites the sandwich. 

 

"No. My cook did yesterday. They're leftovers. I can't cook for shit."

 

"Me either." Geri says quietly, biting again.

 

Sergio stares at him carefully. He pulls his feet up on the couch and Geri suddenly bursts out laughing. "What!?" Sergio says defensively.

 

"What the hell is that?" Geri points to his socks. Sergio blinks. "Fuzzy socks." 

 

"Oh my god Ramos- they've got rabbits on them." 

 

"Who cares- They're comfortable!" Sergio defends himself, cheeks flushing embarrassingly.

 

"Yeah right." Geri snorts, finishing his sandwich. "They are!" Sergio snaps, standing up and walking towards a little side table on the far side of the room, pulling out another pair. "Here- see for yourself." 

 

"I'm not putting those on- they have hearts on them." Geri says accusingly, eyeing the grey socks with white hearts.

 

"Pussy."

 

"Am not."

 

"Then try them."

 

"Ugh- fine." Geri puts the tray on the coffee table before snatching them out of Sergio's hands, slipping them on.

 

"Well shit."

 

"See." Sergio says smugly, slipping back into his place on the couch. He pulls his wool blanket over and Geri grabs one end. "You hog."

 

"It's my house asshole."

 

Geri turns to the sci-fi movie that's on the tv with interest, and Sergio stares at the back of his head with curiosity.

 

"I'm keeping the socks by the way." Geri tells him. "Like hell you are." 

 

"Where'd you buy them from anyway?"

 

Sergio snorts. "I'm not telling you. You dissed my socks." Geri pouts.

 

"I'll find some anyway- you just watch."

 

"I'm sure you will."

 

~•~

 

Sergio pushes Gerard with fury. "Fucking talk now you bitch!"

 

The Camp Nou is roaring loudly with angry fans that are staring down at a hurt Lionel Messi that's clutching his ankle.

 

"What is there to talk about!? You're just an idiot that doesn't know how to play!" He replies, hatred burning in his eyes as he glares down at the other defender, the blue and red jersey clinging to his skin with sweat.

 

"Keep bitching, Pique. Talk about the refs favoring us now! I'll wait for your dumb tweets. That's the only thing your good at- talking shit."

 

"The only reason you win anything is because of the refs." Geri replied with a fake smile, and Sergio shoves him again.

 

"And then you question why Spain hates you!" Sergio blurts, and a look of pain breaks through the layer of animosity in the blue eyes of his National teammate. 

 

He kinda regrets and relishes it at the same time. The raw look is soon gone though- covered up with a guarded look from the other who looks at Sergio with distrust.

 

"Fuck you Sergio." He whispers, walking back to his position while Sergio is left staring at the red card that waved in his face.

 

He should feel accomplished- but all he feels is empty.

 

~•~

 

"Wanna run together?" 

 

Geri nods, smoothing out his Spain jersey as Sergio ties his cleats up.

 

"You went to the Bahamas right?" Sergio asks him curiously. A goofy grin appears on Geri's face. "Oh my god- it was so pretty."

 

"I was planning on going sometime soon." Sergio continues his run around the pitch with the others. Geri makes an approving sound next to him. "You should. It was wonderful."

 

He suddenly makes a face. "Actually don't."

 

"Why not?" Sergio frowns.

 

"Because knowing you, you'd go alone since you're such a loner. That's not fun."

 

Sergio scowled, shoving the other away who laughed. "Shut up you asshole."

 

"Oh- Sergio," Geri breathes out as they speed up, his breathing shortening.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Happy Birthday."

 

Sergio turns to him with surprise, not expecting the Barça player to remember.

 

Geri only offers him a kind grin, his eyes shut with content. Sergio turns away with a dazed expression. "Thanks."

 

If his heart beat sped up and cheeks flushed, it was because of the run- not Geri.

 

~•~

 

"Can you fucking shut up about your stupid politics for once in your life, Pique." Sergio tells him angrily after the match as they walk into the tunnels. He pushes the sleeves to his Madrid jersey up to his elbows.

 

"Why don't you mind your own damn business, Ramos?" Geri retorts back.

 

"Real Madrid is my business you bitch." Sergio sneers. Geri rolls his eyes, pulling his Barcelona jersey off. "You're just mad you lost."

 

Sergio let's out a bitter laugh. "Oh congratulations for winning- like it did anything Mr. Second Place."

 

Geri flushes. "Cockiness will get you no where. It's football. And I'm sure you know all about how quickly things can change- even in the last minute."

 

Sergio throws him a dirty look. "The only think that'll change is the points difference between Barça and Real. And Real will still be on top."

 

"Just fuck off Ramos." Geri walks past him. 

 

"This is my Stadium. You fuck off."

 

"The Stadium you lost in." Geri turns the corner, leaving Sergio alone in the tunnels.

 

"Fucking ass." Sergio grumbled.

 

~•~

 

Winning the group stages in the Euro and here he was annoying Iker with his drunkness.

 

"Sergio please! Jesus Christ.." Iker snaps when the defender kicks his chair for the fiftieth time. Sergio giggled.

 

"Ikerrrr. Yer such a grouchhh."

 

Iker scowled, pulling away when he tried to squeeze his cheek.

 

"Iker- can you please help me get Isco out of the pool?" A desperate Andres appears in front of him.

 

"I'm a little busy here, if you haven't noticed." Iker said bluntly, pointing to Sergio who was running his hands through the goalie's hair roughly, laughing maniacally as he did it. "Can't you do it?"

 

"Believe me- I tried." Andres looks irritated. "But he started shooting at me with a nerf gun screaming no cules allowed, Madrid territory only."

 

"That's my boy!" Sergio cries out, throwing his hands up in triumph. "HALA MADRI-" He began to scream but Iker slapped a hand on his mouth to shut him up. "Fuck- anything is better than Sergio drunk. Let's go." Iker stood, following Andres outside.

 

"Stay there Sergio." He calls before he leaves. 

 

"You thought." Sergio stands, stumbling to the kitchen. 

 

He's met with Geri who is drunkenly braiding Fernando's hair. "Will you stop it Geri." The Atletico player says, annoyed.

 

"The braids look good on you. Keep them." He slurs and Sergio throws an apple at him that bounces off his head.

 

Geri turns to him with a frown and when he sees Sergio he narrows his eyes. "Fernano! Sergio hit me!" He whines.

 

"I don't care- and it's Fernando! Who the hell is Fernano!?"

 

Geri pouts pushing past Sergio to leave the kitchen. Sergio follows after him to the hallway.

 

"Geri!"

 

"Whaaattt?" Geri stares at his fingers with interest.

 

"Where're you going?" Sergio grabs his sweater.

 

"To Narnia!" Geri cries. "I wanna come! I wanna come!" 

 

"You can't." Geri says firmly with a drunken grin. "Why not?" Sergio frowns.

 

"Because yer so meannn."

 

"I'm sorry." Sergio tries, but Geri shakes his head stubbornly.

 

"No. You're only saying it now so you can come with me to Narnia."

 

"Geri." Sergio's grip tightens, stepping into the taller defender's personal space. "I'm sorry."

 

"Are you?" Geri blinks.

 

"I am. I'm sorry."

 

"No- no..." Geri reaches up and cups Sergio's face in his hands, leaning down. "I'm sorry. My fault.. It's always my fault." He mumbles and Sergio leans into him as Geri leans against the wall.

 

"Not always.. not always.." Sergio tells him. And then Geri is hugging him tightly, arms wrapped tightly around his neck and face buried in his neck. Sergio hugs his waist, nuzzling into the other's chest. 

 

"I'm sorry."

 

~•~

 

Geri tackles him to the ground.

 

The ref blows his whistle. Sergio glares at the red and blue jersey as Geri turns away.

 

"How much longer is this going to continue for Gerard?" Sergio demands.

 

"I don't know what you're talking about." Geri says bluntly. Sergio grits his teeth in anger. 

 

"Why are you like this!" Sergio explodes. "Why can't you be more like Jordi? Or Sergi? Or Marc? Or Andres? Why do you keep making me hate you!"

 

"Because I'm Gerard! Gerard Pique! Get over it Sergio!" Geri shouts, shoving the Real player.

 

"You wanna push me around after what happened after the qualifiers because you're such a baby!" Sergio blurts out and Geri grabs him but his white jersey, pulling him up until they're face to face.

 

"Don't." His voice is low and dark. "Don't bring that up."

 

"This is it then? It's just going to continue going on like this everytime we come together for Spain? Act like friends and then enemies?" Sergio whispers harshly.

 

"There's nothing else I can give you." Geri's voice is cold. "We can never be friends in these colors."

 

The Camp Nou is loud with angry fans. 

 

"I don't know if I can continue doing this." Sergio spits out.

 

Geri lets out a bitter chuckle. "You won't have to. Just wait three more years and you don't have to worry about being my friend anymore." He turns to leave. "See you in the qualifiers."

 

"Coward." Sergio whispers. Geri hears it- body freezes to it for a moment, but he continues walking off to the tunnels.

 

Sergio's eyes burn with angry tears but he won't let them fall here- not on enemy territory. 

 

~•~

 

Somewhere close to the end of his Madrid season, Sergio is surprised when he sees a text from Gerard.

 

**That asshole who ruins my life:**

_I found them bitch._

 

Sergio can't help the small smile from forming on his face. And then he can't help the bitter tears that start running down his face.

 

 **The dick from Madrid:** _Damn it, how did you find out?_

 

 **That asshole who ruins my life:** _I have great detective skills._

 

 **The dick from Madrid:** _That's hard to believe._

 

 **That asshole who ruins my life:** _See you with the NT?_

 

 **The dick from Madrid:** _Yeah. See you with the NT._

 

 

Him and Gerard- It was just an endless cycle that would continue. Friends to enemies to friends to enemies.. On and on. A carousel that never stopped.

 

 

_And Sergio didn't know how to get off._

 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gerio backstory. Song inspired by this chapter;
> 
> Looking Too Closely by Fink
> 
> "The devil's right there, right there in the details. And you don't wanna hurt yourself, hurt yourself. By looking too closely. Looking too closely."
> 
> I promise the chats are coming back soon but I can't help myself with these back stories. (Only two more!)


	17. Neymes

They always say that opposites attract. 

 

James wasn't sure about Neymar, but he definitely believed in that. Wasn't Leo and Cris a prime example of that? 

 

But then again, what even _is_ Leo and Cris?

 

James had an acuteness for despising himself a bit. His stutter, shyness, his bland personality, his boringness, his awkwardness... he hated it. All of it.

 

And Neymar was so _different_ from him. His flashy style, his ability to speak with others like it was no big deal. His characteristic quality of befriending anyone he met, his unique personality- and just _him_ in general.

 

At some point, James questioned if it was attraction or admiration he felt. Then he just plainly accepted the fact that he did indeed have a crush on the Brazilian. There was always something about him that James just _wanted_.

 

Well- 

 

It wasn't _always_ like that.

 

~•~

 

"Good game." Messi smiles politely as he shook James' hand, his Barcelona jersey colorful against his pale skin.

 

"O-Oh... Thanks. Yo-You too." He stammers out with a nervous smile.

 

"James. Hurry back." Cris ruffles his hair before jogging off, throwing a nasty glare to Leo who only responds with a guarded expression in his eyes, his face rather emotionless- smile gone.

 

Leo sighs when Cris disappears into the tunnels turning back to James with a smile again. "See you in the World Cup qualifiers?" 

 

"Y-Yeah."

 

And then Leo disappears as well- purposefully avoiding the tunnel Cris walked into. 

 

"I just d-don't understand those t-two." James murmurs to himself in disbelief, shaking his head a little.

 

He moves to leave the pitch as well but something shoves him roughly and he falls to the grass in slight pain.

 

He sits up, rubbing his head. He looks up at the culprit. "Oh my god- I'm so sorry!" Neymar exclaims, sitting in front him, large hazel eyes staring at him apologetically.

 

"I-It's fine." James replies weakly, feeling a prickle of irritation.

 

"It's just that Rafa is so mean. He doesn't understand what no means. I told him I was tired enough as it is, but he still tried to jump on my back. Of course there's nothing wrong with that- but I mean, look at me! I'm all skin and bones. How does he expect me to hold him up? Right? Oh- you probably don't care. But it's what happened. So you see when he tried to jump on me- which he shouldn't have done because I'm weak and tired anyway- I stumbled a bit. I have such bad balance and coordination, trust me- you have no idea how bad it is. This one time we were taking a group photo and since I was one of the smallest, I had to be put on the top bleacher thingy and somehow I just fell off! And I was just standing! Can you believe that? Of course everyone laughed at me and that was mean because it hurt but they mean well. I mean- better to laugh with them than be laughed at, right? Oh I'm going off topic. Anyways, so yeah. He tried to jump on me and you know, skin and bones, bad balance, and all that. So I stumbled a bit and bumped into you! Oh my god- I didn't even ask you if you're ok! Are you alright!? Look at me!" Neymar blabbers on and on, exclaiming the last part while grabbing James' cheeks in his hands tightly, making his face resemble one of a fish. James is overwhelmed by the man's bubbly personality.

 

James flushed as Neymar stared into him deeply. "Aw.. your baby fat makes you look like a pucker fish." He gushed. "I didn't even know people could keep baby fat at 26. Although- Sergi has a bit on his cheeks too. It's cute though."

 

"Neymar- leave the poor boy alone. You're scaring him." Marcelo pulls the other Brazilian off before helping James up to his feet. "I was only apologizing." Neymar states. 

 

"Yeah.. of course you were.." Marcelo mutters pushing him towards the tunnels.

 

"Anyways- sorry again James! See you in the qualifiers!" Neymar shouts before disappearing into the tunnels. 

 

James stares after him with a warm face.

 

"Sorry about him. Ney's a lot to take in, isn't he?" Marcelo smiles sheepishly. "Y-Yeah."

 

"Come on Hammy." Marcelo wraps an arm around his shoulders. "I can see it you know."

 

"S-See what?" James frowns.

 

"The jealousy."

 

James avoids his gaze in embarrassment. 

 

Marcelo stares at him. "It's okay to be jealous. I mean- you think Cristiano's perfect and jealousy is his frenemy."

 

"I-I don't like him. I don't l-like how easy it i-is for him. Like he doesn't h-have to try to get along w-with people." James whispers in envy. "Does that make me a bad p-person?"

 

Marcelo chuckles, ruffling his hair. "Of course not. It's okay to be jealous. But- it's not always easy for everyone. Just because it seems like he's always happy, doesn't mean he always is." Marcelo tells him carefully and James ponders on his words with a frown. "Why don't you try being his friend?"

 

"N-No! He'd h-hate someone l-like me. We're so different."

 

Marcelo gives him a sneaky smile. "So are Cris and Leo."

 

"What?" Cristiano's head snaps up from where he's sitting on the far side of the bench. "I heard Leo. Who's talking about Messi?" 

 

Marcelo gives James a pointed look. "See."

 

James giggles.

 

"No one! Go back to jelling up your hair to baldness." Marcelo retorts.

 

"Asshole."

 

"Just try. Believe me. Neymar would love to be friends with you."

 

James thinks about it.

 

~•~

 

"Okay. Start s-small. S-Simple." James tells himself as he types Neymar into the search box on Instagram.

 

His finger hovers over the follow button hesitantly. "Wow! Almost 80 million." James exclaims in awe. It was way more compared to his 32 million. "I sound like some bratty rich boy. Comparing Instagram followers." James grumbled, scrolling down. 

 

"Oh my god he has a dog!!" James jumps in excitement, clicking on the video of Neymar chasing his dog Poker around a dog house.

 

He moves down to another post. This one is a shirtless picture and James can't  help himself from ogling, okay. The caption is athlete like- _Hard Work leads to Great Things._

 

He hears a low crash of something falling from behind him and jumps in surprise, putting his hand on his laptop to push him up from his bed. 

 

The culprit is his dog Amigo who is sitting next to a fallen over bottle of water. "Amigo. Bad boy. No touching things on the table." He scolded picking up the water bottle and turning back to his bed.

 

His heart stops when he sees the once white heart on the post now red. The water bottle slips from his fingers and falls to the floor with a crash as he froze, staring at the red heart. Amigo barks behind him mockingly but James feels like he's going to die.

 

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!" He rushes to the laptop, un-liking the post quickly. "Oh shit. Oh my god. Why me!? He's going to think I'm such a stalker- I'm not even following him." He hyperventilated.

 

"No wait- but what if he sees I un-liked it and thinks I'm a weirdo!?" James likes it again. "But what if he hasn't seen it and I look like a weirdo when he does?" James quickly un-likes again. "But what if he feels offended!?" James likes once again.

 

He grabs his phone, dialing Marcelo. "James why are you calling me at midnight?" He asks tiredly.

 

"I-I f-fucked up-p big t-time!" James stammers.

 

"What happened?" Marcelo sounds more awake now. "I-I listen-listened to your ad-advice a-and tried to f-follow h-him. B-But th-then I accidentally l-liked one of his ph-photos!" James panics.

 

Marcelo is silent for a moment. "You know he has almost 80 million people following him and liking his posts daily. You really think he'd notice your username between all those people?"

 

"Well no- Y-Yes! M-My account has the b-blue che-check thingy! Oh n-no! H-He saw! He's g-gonna th-think I'm a stalker!" James cries out.

 

"Calm down. If it bothers you so much, just follow him. He won't think you're a stalker- or at least, he won't be offended by it. He's Neymar. He's friends with Rafinha. What'd you expect?"

 

"I-I guess." James hesitates before clicking follow. "I did it."

 

"Good. He won't think much of it. He gets distracted pretty easily. Now sleep. We have practice tomorrow." Marcelo yawns and James feels bad for disturbing his sleep over something so superficial. "I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to ruin your sleep."

 

Marcelo lets out a breathy laugh. "It's fine James. I've dealt with much worse. I mean- have you seen Cris' pre Ballon D'or ceremony stress? The dude keeps me up all night deciding which way he should part his hair."

 

James laughs. "Night Hammy."

 

"Goodnight."

 

It's only after he's clicked the off button that he notices two things his laptop.

 

_**neymarjr** started following you._

 

_**neymarjr:** Aw, looking pretty far in my pics, aren't you Rodriguez?_

 

He sends James the picture he liked with his name circled and also the date which was two months ago.

 

James repeatedly slams his face ino his pillow, letting out a scream of embarrassment. 

 

_**neymarjr** liked your post._

 

James peaks up at the screen. It was a photo of him with the Colombian flag back in 2013, during the group stages of the World Cup Qualifiers. He flushed.

 

_**neymarjr:** Funny- I was stalking you too._

 

His heart raced at that, a small smile etching onto his face. 

 

_**jamesrodriguez10:** Sorry._

 

_**neymarjr:** It's cool. See you at the WC?_

 

_**jamesrodriguez10:** yeah._

 

So maybe Neymar wasn't as bad as he thought.

 

~•~

 

His screams of pain were echoing throughout the entire stadium- overpowering the thousands of Brazilians in the stands shouting curses to Colombia.

 

Marcelo was the first to skitter to him, shouting at everyone to stop the game. James was next to come rushing over with concern, the pained screams leaving Neymar scared him as knelt beside the other two.

 

"What happened!?"

 

"One of the Colombian players- Zuniga, he kneed him in the fucking back." Marcelo's eyes burned with fury and worry.

 

"Neymar- is it..?" James turns to the pained forward with concern.

 

"I-I broke it! It's broken! It's broken!" He cried, and James tries to shush him. "It's okay-"

 

"It's broken! I-It feels _broken_!" The medics came rushing over. James can only watch helplessly as they carry the player out of the stadium, Brazilians cheering encouragement for him loudly. 

 

~•~

 

"A fractured v-vertebrae. J-Juan what where y-you _thinking_!?" James asks in slight anger as he read the articles.

 

"It's not like I meant to!" He snaps back.

 

"This could end his _career_." James hissed. "Take some fucking responsibility." 

 

Cuadrado looks at him with surprise along with his other Colombian teammates. 

 

James ignores them, storming off to his room. Neymar's injury and being knocked out of the World Cup was too much. And he couldn't stop the tears as they began- just like on the pitch. He was just so _close_.

 

Not close enough apparently.

 

~•~

 

"I-I'm glad to see th-that you're well." James tells Neymar nervously as the final whistle blows, the Real Madrid players celebrating their 2-1 victory.

 

"I'm stronger than the malice." Neymar grinned, eyes gleaming. James frowns. "Y-You know Juan didn't mean t-to do it, right?"

 

Neymar suddenly doesn't look as welcoming or warm as before. "I thought I wasn't going to be able to play again."

 

"I-I understand that, but he d-didn't mean to." James says carefully.

 

"You want me to forgive a man that hasn't even apologised." Neymar regards him rather coldly. James feels his heart beat pick up. "I'm not s-saying that-"

 

"Bye Rodriguez." He says bluntly, bumping him roughly as he brushes past.

 

"That's not what I meant." James says quietly to the empty space next to him.

 

~•~

 

"Neymar- stop. Please, stop." James pleads, grabbing the furious Brazilian by the cheeks as the Colombian players shout at him, Juan Zuniga lying on the ground in pain from the ball that was kicked to his back.

 

James really should've expected him to have done something. Neymar always seemed like an eye for an eye type of person.

 

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." James tells him sternly, protecting Neymar from his angry teammates. 

 

"Maybe the whole world needs to be blind!" Neymar hisses, glaring down at Juan. 

 

"Ney, man- don't say that. You're bigger than this. God gave you a gift. Don't waste it to ruins over something as damning as revenge." James says softly and Neymar peaks a look up to him, staring into his eyes intently. "I'm too fucked up to give a damn about shit like being the bigger person." 

 

James freezes at that, blinking in confusion. Neymar offers a bitter smile. "You're a good person. You should keep following your own good advice, James. But I'm not as nice as you think. I don't regret anything. I think you should realize that I'm anything _but_ a good person." And Neymar pulls out of his grip letting Marcelo and Dani guard him away from vulgar words as they left for the tunnels.

 

James can still feel the burning flush in his cheeks as he stares on, completely flustered. Yes- they were completely different.

 

Was it so bad that he still wanted him?

 

~•~

 

"H-Hi."

 

Neymar blinks at James who offers a small smile. "How'd you find my room?"

 

"Marcelo." James replied sheepishly. 

 

Neymar opens the door wider for him, allowing the other in. James waits and Neymar smirks at him. "You can come in."

 

"O-Oh.. sorry-" Jame flushed as he came in. "It's fine." Neymar chuckled, shutting it after him.

 

"Want anything to drink? I don't really have anything to eat, but I could call room service-"

 

"Oh, no! I'm fine- really." James smiles. Neymar can't help but smile with him. "Could you imagine what the room lady would even think if she saw us together in a room?" Neymar chuckled, sitting down next to James on the couch. 

 

James flushed at that and Neymar frowns for a moment before his eyes widen, cheeks pinkening. "Oh wow James.. you have a really dirty mind, don't you?"

 

"N-No I don't!" James stammers, pushing him a little. Neymar smirks but the pink tint in his cheeks remain. "The quiet ones always do. I didn't mean it like _that_."

 

"S-Shut up!" James turns away from him. "Okay, Okay... I'm done fucking with you." Neymar chuckled before he stops. "Not _fucking_ you, but fucking _with_ you. I think I should make that clear-"

 

"Oh my god- you're horrible, just horrible!" James cries, covering his face.

 

Neymar laughs, putting an arm around his shoulders. "Alright. I promise I'm done now. Sorry, you're just so much fun to mess with. Anyways, any specific reason James Rodriguez is here with me today?"

 

"Oh- yes." James turns to him. "I wanted to talk to you about what happened on the pitch." Neymar's smile drops along with the happy gleam in his eyes. 

 

"I know that he's done some awful things to you, but he's just a hothead. He never really means to injure you. He doesn't. Believe me. You really shouldn't have done that on the pitch, because you only just stooped to his level with that. The reason you don't like it was because it was wrong, right? So why would you go and do the same? That's not right, Neymar. And despite what you told me, you're not a bad person-"

 

"Stop."

 

"I know you're not a bad person. You just have some pent up anger. But that doesn't mean you aren't good-"

 

"James stop."

 

"Because you are good. Don't force yourself to believe you're something you're not, because I can see you're good-"

 

"I said stop!" Neymar shoves him down, sitting on his hips and pinning his shoulders to the couch. James freezes, staring up but not able to see the Brazilian's eyes through the strands of hair covering them. 

 

"You wanna know the reason why you can see my good?" His voice is low. "Because you see the good in everyone. You see good because you are good. James- you're the most innocent person I've met. And that's not a bad thing, okay? But if we're going to be friends, then you need to get it through your thick fucking skull," Neymar looks up and James is startled to find the Barcelona player  _glaring_ at him. Full on glaring, eyes like daggers. 

 

"I. Am. Not. A. Good. Person."

 

~•~

 

_**neymarjr:** You know, I just realized something._

 

_**jamesrodriguez10:** What?_

 

_**neymarjr:** You didn't stutter._

 

_**jamesrodriguez10:** I didn't?_

 

_**neymarjr:** yeah. You didn't._

 

_**jamesrodriguez10:** wow._

 

_**neymarjr:** I know._

 

_**neymarjr:** I'm proud of you._

 

~•~

 

"I'm sick of trying, you know?" Neymar blabbers and James frowns at him. 

 

"What do you mean?"

 

Neymar continues to play with the rubix cube in his hand, laying upside down on the couch. 

 

"Love is stupid."

 

"No it isn't!"

 

Neymar smirks at him. "Of course you would think so." James is tempted to throw his orange juice in his face- he tells this to Neymar. "I'm having a bad influence on you. You've gotten meaner." 

 

"What do you mean about that other thing though?"

 

"Come on James. Anyone can tell from a mile away that you're a hopeless romantic." 

 

"So?" James says stubbornly. "What's so wrong with that?"

 

"Because your kisses in the rain and sharing milkshakes is a bunch of BS." Neymar sticks his tongue out in concentration as he moves the cube around.

 

"Oh yeah? What about Angelina Jolie and-"

 

"They're getting a divorce you loser." Neymar chuckled, James' mouth drops in shock. "What!?"

 

"You didn't know? Apparently they got sick of each other and- hey, are you crying?"

 

James sniffles. "They were my favorite couple." 

 

"Oh my god James." Neymar rolls over so he's upright. "Leave me alone." James wipes his eyes furiously, nose turning red.

 

Neymar feels a little bad, setting the cube on the table. "James-"

 

"Whatever. You're always right, what does it matter? Love is a bunch of Bullshit."

 

"Why do I get the feeling we aren't talking about Angelina Jolie anymore?" Neymar frowns. 

 

James grabs the cube turning it different directions quickly, eyes avoiding Neymar.

 

"James-"

 

"Here-" James throws the completed cube in his lap. "Holy shit- how'd you do that so quickly?" 

 

James shrugs and Neymar snorts staring at the cube in fascination. "I forgot you're smart.. Computer engineering and everything."

 

"That was before football." James mumbled, fiddling with the cube. 

 

Neymar stares at him intently. _Maybe if you became a computer engineer, things between us could be different_. Neymar ignores the pinch in his chest as he grabs the remote. "Let's watch some shitty romantic comedy." James' eyes lit up and Neymar hid his smile.

 

_Things could've been different._

_~•_ ~

 

_**neymarjr:** Can you hate me please?_

 

_**jamesrodriguez10:** what? No._

 

_**neymarjr:** Why not?_

 

_**jamesrodriguez10:** I just can't._

 

_**neymarjr:** I don't deserve you._

 

_**jamesrodriguez10:** I'm not really something that deserves to be deserved._

 

_**neymarjr:** God I hate it when you underapprectiate yourself._

 

_**jamesrodriguez10:** well, I don't really see what's wrong with that._

 

_**neymarjr:** maybe we shouldn't be friends._

 

_**jamesrodriguez10:** Are you serious Neymar?_

 

_**neymarjr:** We're so different._

 

_**jamesrodriguez10:** So are Cris and Leo!_

 

_**neymarjr:** Who said Leo and Cristiano were friends?_

 

_**jamesrodriguez10:** Uh_

 

_**neymarjr:** Bye James._

 

~•~

 

James stared at his screen in disbelief, but he really should've expected something like this to happen so suddenly. Neymar was a wild card. It was just easier to fake through it all. They usually never had spits like this, but James was tired of being the one to crawl back. Neymar really did have a bad influence on him, because now he wasn't going to do anything about it. If he wanted to do something about it, then Neymar would fix it on his own.

 

It's funny- because for a second James thought Neymar was pushing him away because he started feeling something he didn't want to feel. But then James scolded himself because Neymar doesn't believe in roses and chocolates. 

 

It was nice while it lasted- but it still hurt when it ended.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two, they just.. 
> 
> Ugh.
> 
> I wish there were more people who shipped Neymes, and hope my stories of the two can drift people towards it. It's a beautiful ship that deserves more of a fan base, lol. Song inspired by this chapter;
> 
> Water Under My Skin by SPC ECO
> 
> "I'm done crying for, moments I once adored. Why is all this in pieces, can't you let it lie? Leave love alone. Water under my skin."
> 
>  
> 
> Obviously I'm going to save the best for last. (;
> 
> (IT'S CRESSI TIME)  
> This one might take a while, lmao ^ 
> 
> (They been through so much together T_T)


	18. Chapter 18

**Ney:** I just saw the most funniest thing about Ronaldo. 

 

 **Cris:** I swear to god

 

 **Rafa:** SHOW HIM

 

 **Dani:** SHOW HIMMMM

 

 **Toni:** Oh no.

 

 **Leo:** Lmao, I actually thought this was pretty funny.

 

 **Cris:** Gee, must be great then right?

 

 **Geri:** YES NEY YES

 

 **Ter:** It's meannn

 

 **Sergio:** SHOW US.

 

 **Ney:** So has anyone seen Spongebob?

 

 **Gareth:** Every single episode!

 

 **Isco:** I love Spongebob.

 

 **Ter:** omfg, Neymar don't do it.

 

 **Ney:** You know the episode where Pearl goes to prom with Spongebob?

 

 **Sergi:** Ney, you're horrible. 

 

 **Isco:** Yeah?

 

**Ney:**

  
  


 

 **Ney:** Cristiano Ronaldo; Long Tan and Handsome

 

 **Ney:** "SUUUUUUUUUUUU"

 

 **Gareth:** OMFGGGGG

 

 **Sergio:** HAHAHAHA

 

 **Toni:** IM CRYING FJ DSJDXNS

 

 **Cris:** You fucking piece of shit

 

 **Cris:** I look a thousand times better than that burnt hot dog

 

 **James:** From now on we're calling Cris Octavius Rex.

 

 **Cris:** Don't you fucking dare you assholes!

 

 **Sergio:** Omg- I just, I can't. It's so funny. You are forever now known as Octavius Rex, Mr. Long Tan and Handsome.

 

 **Toni:** Wait, so if Cris is Octavius does that mean Leo is pearl?

 

 **Dani:** But Octavius ditched Pearl as his date to the dance.

 

 **Leo:** Not like our Octavius hasn't done that to me before.

 

 **Cris:** Don't start Leo.

 

 **Leo:** Whatever.

 

 **Isco:** Wow Ocatvius. How disrespectful.

 

 **Cris:** Don't call me that you dick!

 

 **Geri:** You should just accept it Octavius. This is who you are now.

 

 **Cris:** If this gets out to the media, you'll all be hearing from my lawyers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okayyy turns out Cressi back story is taking me a little longer than I thought. 
> 
> (I haven't started yet ((Don't kill me)) I'm sorry)
> 
> So here's a quick little funny thing for you. I was actually watching this episode with my niece and I was thinking about the Super Copa, and I just- it hit me and shook me man. 
> 
> Cristiano Ronaldo aka Long Tan and Handsome xD
> 
> Also the SSC..
> 
>  
> 
> Suarez annoyed me beyond belief, I'm glad Sergio ruffed him up a bit. Undeserved penalty, but Messi took it quite beautifully. Asensio is fucking amazing and I hope he stays at Madrid because the raw young talent he has is perfect for Madrid's future. Cristiano's banger goal had me screaming, and him getting booked gave me mixed emotions. I saw a bit of a dive there, but not sure. Also- my prayers go to Geri for that first one, Hahahaha.
> 
> But tbh Barça really really lacked in defense and their midfield wasn't good either. I think that hole Neymar left is really affecting their play. Ter Stegen and Umtiti actually played quite well, I think Geri did really bad. He left a lot of open spaces for Real to score. Poor defending. Leo seemed a bit out of it too. Don't know what happened with them today.
> 
> Hope this makes up a bit for the lack of updates lately! <3


	19. Chapter 19

**Geri:** SERGIO

 

 **Geri:**  I’M GOING TO KILL YOU

 

 **Isco:** Oh my gawd

 

 **Toni:** What’s going on

 

 **Sergio:** What the hell do you want now

 

 **Geri:** I KNOW WHAT YOU DID

 

 **Geri:** FERNANDO TOLD ME EVERYTHING YOU LITTLE BITCH

 

 **Cris:** STOP YELLING

 

 **James:** Now that was just hypocritical Cris

 

 **Cris:** Be quiet

 

 **Leo:** (8

 

 **Cris:** Shut up midget

 

 **Leo:** You’re body looks like burnt salmon

 

 **Cris:** You have two butts- the second one is on your chin

 

 **Leo:** You’re hair looks like ramen- everyone should call you noodle head

 

 **Ney:** BURN

 

 **Rafa:** GET ROASTED OCTAVIUS

 

 **Cris:** STOP CALLING ME THAT

 

 **Dani:** Wait- what’s going on?

 

 **Leo:** Idk. Ronaldo opened his stupid mouth.

 

 **Cris:** Stfu. You started it with that smiley face.

 

 **Leo:** Who says that was for you? Maybe it was for Toni.

 

 **Toni:** Awww

 

 **Toni:** Thanks man

 

 **Gareth:** Someone stole the kale, Cris. There’s none in your fridge. 

 

 **Cris:** WHAT!?

 

 **Cris:** ALRIGHT WHICH ONE OF YOU MOFOS STOLE MY MOTHERFUCKIN KALE

 

 **James:** I didn’t touch it! I swear!

 

 **Isco:** wasn’t me

 

 **Toni:** Me either

 

 **Cris:** FOR FUCKS SAKE! THE ONE THING I TELL YOU DUMBASS FUCKING IDIOTS IS TO NOT TOUCH MY DAMN KALE! ITS ONE SIMPLE RULE!!! NO ONE TOUCHES MY KALE! NOW WHICH ONE OF YOU TOOK IT!? YOU CAN HAVE THE DAMN ARUGULA, YOU CAN HAVE THE STUPID SPINACH, BUT NOT THE KALE! IF YOU IDIOTS MADE KALE AND OREO SMOOTHIES OUT OF MY FUCKING KALE AGAIN LIKE YOU DID LAST TIME, THEN IMMA SLIT A THROAT TONIGHT! IF I DO NOT RECIEVE MY KALE IN 0.05 MOTHERFUCKIN SECONDS THEN CRISTIANO RONALDO IS GOING TO JAIL FOR MURDER TONIGHT! MARCELO!? DICKFACE, IT WAS PROBABLY YOU!! I KNEW YOU WERE HANGING OUT WITH NEYMAR TOO MUCH OVER INTERNATIONAL BREAK. STEALING MY FUCKING KALE LIKE A SATAN’S CHILD! SOMEONE CONFESS NOW OR IM MOVING BACK TO MANCHESTER! TRY AND WIN TITLES THEN YOU PIECES OF SHIT! THEN YOU'LL MISS ME! SPENDING YOUR DAYS REGRETTING EVER TOUCHING MY KALE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

 

 **Rafa:** Jesus fuck, dude

 

 **Ney:** I AM OFFENDED

 

 **Marcelo:** I didn’t do it!

 

 **Marc:** I’m confused 

 

 **Leo:** Take a chill pill, Kale Enthusiast.

 

 **Dani:** Kale and Oreo smoothies!?

 

 **Isco:** Yeah. They’re actually pretty good!

 

 **Cris:**  ISCO

 

 **Isco:** It was Cristiano’s kale tho. He was bitchy the whole month after that.

 

 **Cris:** WHAT HAPPENED TO MY KALE

 

 **Geri:** YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR KALE!? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED!!

 

 **Ter:** ?

 

 **Ney:** Since when do you eat kale Geri???

 

 **Geri:** I DONT

 

 **Cris:** Wait a minute...

 

 **Cris:** THATS MY KALE

 

 **Cris:** YOU MOTHER FUCKER

 

 **Cris:** WHEN DID YOU STEAL MY KALE

 

 **Geri:** I DIDNT! SERGIO STOLE IT AND PUT IT IN MY BAG! HE THREW AWAY ALL MY CHEETOS!!!

 

 **Cris:** RAMOS

 

 **Sergio:** Mwahahahaha


End file.
